Page 116 of Sour Notes

Some look downright alien, they definitely don’t look like any dick I’ve ever seen—not that I make it a habit of checking out other men’s dicks, but men give zero fucks about letting their cocks free-roam in gym locker rooms.

Others would low key give me a size complex and I know I’m not a small guy so that shit’s saying something.

“Uhh honey, why are there dicks all over our bed? Is my morning wood not to your satisfaction?”

Her face morphs from shocked embarrassment to amused in less than a second, a snort bursting out of her, taking her by surprise if the hand she slaps over her mouth is any indication.

I almost sink to the floor in relief that my girl laughed instead of freezing me out like she did yesterday.

Outside, I’m cool, calm, and collected. Letting myself slip naturally into my PD role, leaning against the doorframe with my arms crossed.

Inside, I want to launch myself across the room, grab her in my arms, and kiss the breath out of her.

We’re gonna need you to slow your roll there, Wolff.

Suddenly, my eyes snag on the box behind her on the bed. It looks awfully familiar. A lot like the box I pulled out of my suitcase and left beside hers last night, which—yep. It’s gone.

“Miiiiiiiaaaa, did I smuggle all these dicks out here in my suitcase, by any chance?”

She giggles in response, her dark hair spilling over her face when she bends forward to pick up and inspect another giant dick.

This one looks a lot like a shark’s dick with the way it splits into two almost equal lengths.

So I like to watch Shark Week. Who doesn’t?

Taking slow, measured steps across the room, I watch her carefully, looking for any sign that her previous mood is about to resurface.

When I reach her, I tuck a finger under her chin and tilt her face up, forcing her eyes to meet mine.

They’re red. Fuck. So she has cried at some point in the last few hours. That realization hits like a knife to my heart.

Don’t ask about it. Don’t bring up yesterday. Keep it light.

“Angel, care to explain why I’ve smuggled enough toys to service the whole island?” I can’t resist gliding my thumb over her soft cheek before catching myself and letting my hand fall away.

This isn’t supposed to be a move. I want to keep it light and fun so she doesn’t feel pressured into anything.

“Well… uhh… since you enjoy reading my articles so much, I should probably let you know. The next main feature will be a sex toy review segment.” Her eyes snap to mine with what I swear are nerves flitting across them for a brief second.

“Wait, what? You have to fuck yourself with all of these? Then rate them? What, out of ten?”

Anxiety creeps into her face. I see it clear as day, her shoulders rise up, bunching close to her ears.

Wow, that asshole did this.

God, I want to kill him.

She nods stiffly, her face now entirely neutral, so unlike the vibrant Mia I know.

Not happening on my watch.

I bark out a laugh, scanning the bed to pick up the biggest one there. Not gonna lie, this fucker is huge. It’s as big as my forearm, and I lift heavy weights.

Her wide, shocked eyes lock with mine when I slap the monstrosity against my palm before tossing it back onto the bed. I’m still chuckling as I walk toward the coffee maker a minute later.

“Well, I hope she packed an industrial-sized tub of lube in there too. Looks like you’re gonna need it.”

She laughs and I catch her body slouching in relief in my peripheral vision.