Page 54 of Falling for the King

His back went even straighter, his jaw ticked again.

‘It makes sense. You’re an excellent princess, the people of Maynet respect you, you have carved out your own role here, there would be no disruption.’

She sucked in a breath his words flaying her heart.

‘And that’s why you want to marry me, because it makes sense, because there would be no disruption?’ Hurt and anger rang throughout the carriage as she fisted her hands to prevent herself wrapping them around her waist.

‘That’s not what I meant; I’ve put it very badly. You’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever known.’ His voice deepened with persuasion. ‘I know I’m much older than you but we’re good together. I’ve never felt this way about anybody.’

‘Are you saying you love me?’

He shifted his footing, colour racing up his cheekbones stark against his unusual paleness. ‘I don’t believe in love. You know that. What I feel for you … it’s better than that. I like you … a lot.’

‘Like me?’ Her voice wobbled. ‘That’s it? That’s no basis for marriage.’

‘I respect you, admire you. They’re the best foundations for a strong marriage.’

‘I’m sure you like and respect other women, why don’t you ask them?’

‘Because they’re not you,’ Xavier replied his lips barely moving.

‘I don’t understand. What about your list of potential brides?’

‘I … I don’t want to marry any of them. I want to marry you.’ Stepping forward he took her hands, the familiar jolt of connection, attraction zapping through her. He stared down at her with a bone melting intentness. ‘I’m offering you everything that I have, Kat. My protection, my fidelity, my children.’ Her heart squeezed, flipped. ‘With every breath I’ll keep you safe from harm. I’ll honour you in every way. I’ll work my whole life to never let you down. I’ll always be here for you, always.’

Every inch of her responded to his impassioned plea. To him. Temptation swirled, what she wanted most beckoned. A flutter of hope exploded inside her chest incapable of being held back. And for one self-indulgent moment she allowed herself to imagine what it would feel like to be loved by him.

‘Kat?’ he asked waiting for her response, a thread of something in his voice she’d never heard before. Vulnerability?

Reality flooded back harsh and unwelcome. He didn’t love her, he never would and she wouldn’t marry without it. Not even for Xavier. Especially for Xavier, she’d never recover. Calling on every ounce of courage she asked the question that couldn’t be left unsaid any longer.

‘Are you saying you don’t love me?’ she asked barely above a whisper.

His grip tightened, his eyes blazing into hers.

‘I don’t believe in it.’

‘Yes or no, Xavier? Do you love me?’

Tension vibrated from him. Holding herself as still as possible she waited for his answer, trying to prepare herself for the inevitable as her imagined future slipped beyond her reach.

‘No.’

A terrible sound filled the carriage before she realised it came from her, a sob wrenched from her innermost depths. Yanking herself free she put a hand to her mouth and dragged in a breath through burning lungs. Holding herself as still as possible in an attempt to ease the pain.

She stumbled back, away from him.

‘We can make it work,’ he implored.

She wanted to close her eyes, cover her ears, anything, everything to block him out hoping it would ease the biggest, deepest rejection of her life.

Instead, she held his anguished gaze.

‘No, we couldn’t, Xavier, not without love.’ She winced at the sadness and despair she heard in her own voice. It didn’t sound like her, she sounded like a person devoid of hope.

‘That’s not true. Love is the problem. It complicates everything, causes endless trouble. We won’t have to worry about that.’ He raked a hand through his hair then jammed it into his pocket.

Drawn to him in every possible way she rallied against telling him why she couldn’t marry him, she didn’t want to expose her innermost secret to him but she knew marrying him, like this, would destroy them both.