Page 28 of Falling for the King

‘No.’

‘No,’ she agreed. ‘You’re steadfast, dependable … faithful.’

Qualities he valued, worked towards, prided himself on. Why then did he suddenly feel so dull? Was it excitement she’d wanted? Had that been the appeal of Max? There were so many things he didn’t understand about her that he wanted to, desperately.

‘Did you ever want to separate officially, divorce him?’

She bit down on her bottom lip then nodded. ‘But by then I was so attached to Maynet …’ She shrugged. ‘I made my choices too. When I married, divorce never entered my head. By the time I realised, well the realities of my situation, I didn’t want to leave although I felt like a phoney living in a sham marriage.’

Guilt slammed into him, centuries ago a queen left her husband and tried to have him overthrown. Ever since royal decree had been clear, if you formally separated or divorced a member of Maynetian royalty you were escorted from the country for good. He hated to think of Kat … sad. He knew she’d struggled to adjust at the start so he’d arranged more training, assistance and staff when it became apparent her husband wasn’t going to. And over time, reluctant as he was to interfere in someone else’s marriage, he’d attempted a conversation with her about it which had been firmly declined. Max had been enraged when he’d discussed it with him.

‘You’re no imposter, you’re the hardest working, most genuine person I know.’ It wasn’t until he said it out loud that he realised the true extent of his respect for her. She was remarkable. All through those years being married to Max she’d carved out a role for herself, winning the admiration of those around her, including himself. And she’d done so all under the glare of the ever-present media. ‘I should have helped you more.’ He should have persisted, demanded, then what? Escorted her out of the country himself? That thought didn’t thrill him either.

‘You’re the only who did help. And what could you have said to Max? Demanded he be faithful to me? Divorce me? Love me?’ Love. There it was again. ‘And you were the last person who I wanted to know what it was really like.’

What the hell?

‘Why?’

‘You’re the king, I … respect you, immensely.’ Instead of feeling pleasure at her words he felt strangely disappointed although he didn’t know why. ‘I was embarrassed, I married in haste and repented at leisure like the saying. It wasn’t all repent though. At first I was ashamed to admit I’d made such a stupid mistake then I realised I didn’t want to give this all up. And no, I didn’t mean the jewels, the trappings, it was Maynet. Ironically I’d found my place in the world, thanks to Max.’

‘I know it’s not those things keeping you here.’ He waved a hand around the room to emphasise his point. ‘Despite the public’s glamorous perception, it’s an exhausting, relentless role you have. As grateful as I am to have you as part of the family I … wish it hadn’t been like that for you.’

He prevented a wince. Since when did he wish for things. She looked up at him with big sad eyes that slammed into him and he wished for things he had no right to.

She’d never been married to his brother.

That her name was on his list.

‘It’s ancient history now and the law is the law, even your own mother isn’t exempt from it,’ she said throwing him out of his unwelcome thought pattern.

‘No-one is exempt from it and it never bothered my mother. She wanted to go for years before she actually did. She never settled here; she found it dull, boring. As soon as the novelty of being a princess then queen had worn off, all she wanted was to be free from its restrictions and responsibilities.’

‘How could she leave you all?’

He shrugged. ‘She did and my father …’

He pulled himself up. What was he doing? Telling her things he’d never told another soul.

‘Xavier.’

He wanted to close the distance between them, lean against her and tell her everything. Instead, he cleared his throat giving himself a moment to recover from the earnestness and trust that shone from her when she looked at him, that affected him in ways he couldn’t truly articulate.

‘My father allowed her to do whatever she wanted as long as she stayed. When she finally left him for someone else, he never recovered. And in a lot of ways neither did Max, he’d cry for her all night and nobody could console him.’ He’d tried but Max hadn’t wanted his brother, he’d wanted his mother.

Turquoise eyes widened, grew darker.

‘That must have been terrible. And what about you? Who consoled you?’

‘I was …’

Gutted.

Distraught.

Relieved. That the fights, tantrums, taunts, threats and manipulation had ended.

‘… older.’