Page 81 of Sworn to the Shadow Throne

“If we can get him well,” Cam said solemnly. “Too bad your healer isn’t in the Tir.”

My traitorous heart leaped at the thought. The more I fought against it, the more fiercely my inner turmoil raged. My throat closed around something that couldn’t decide if it wanted to come out as rage or grief.

He studied my face and asked, “Most of this is about her, though, isn’t it?”

The way I felt, I didn’t know if anything would ever not be about her again. I had considered the possibility that this was merely a fleeting infatuation, the kind that came with youth. Maybe I was just catching up with everyone else because I’d never fallen for a woman before. But I couldn’t seem to get over it, and my magic had never failed me before the way it had been since returning to the Tir.

I’d told myself this would pass. That if I did all the right things, punished myself thoroughly enough, the ache would fade and Lunette would become nothing more than a wound I’d learned to live with.

But that hadn’t happened.

“She… Yes,” I conceded at last.

“Thank you for finally admitting that,” he said with a grin that told me he’d been spending too much time with Nisien. “Now it’s my turn to admit that I’ve been keeping things from you.”

I stared at him, shocked. Camrick didn’t keep secrets. Not only because he was a habitual loudmouth, but also because he had a moral backbone of steel.

He took in a slow breath through his teeth. “Berian is worse off than we’ve let on. The healers warn he might have mere weeks to live if his condition doesn’t improve.”

“Why—” My voice cracked on the word. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You knowing wouldn’t change it,” he said simply. “And you were dealing with your own problems.”

Selfish ones.

I kept my face buried in my hands longer than necessary. The rough scratch of my beard against my palms—evidence enough of how little I’d been functioning as a person—felt like the most honest thing in the room.

Yet Cam saw right through me. “You were overdue an ‘off’ week, Owain. So let it go.” He leaned forward, eyes intent. “Now, solve two problems with one stroke of the quill. Bring your Fae-blooded healer here.”

The same arguments I’d been rehearsing since this morning came automatically. She had made her choice. I had no right to use my crown to reach back into her life simply because I was drowning without her.

They were good arguments. But they lasted approximately four seconds because this was no longer about what I could bear.

Berian had weeks. His healers were failing. Lunette was the only miracle worker I knew. Leaving her in Selmont because of a private wound between us would be negligence.

A formal summons wouldn’t be about me. Lunette would have rooms of her own and every courtesy. She would be coming to save a king, not to settle matters between us.

The relief that rose in me was so potent it nearly crossed into shame. I flicked it away, seeing it as proof I was finally thinking ahead. I had found an answer before time ran out.

I swallowed, my pulse thudding in my ears. It was as if my body knew something was wrong, even as my magic and heart forged ahead in full agreement.

Cam was still watching me, waiting for protest. Instead, I gave a slow, deliberate nod. The decision settled over me with the clean finality of a command. My crown didn’t demand that I shed every private feeling. It required me to make the choice that protected my kingdom. Desire arriving at the same answer as necessity didn’t make the path any less essential.

A small, persistent voice in the back of my mind suggested I was the last person who should be deciding what was “essential.” But it was easy enough to squash that spark of doubt under the mountain of self-deception I’d been building since I left Selmont.

And for the first time since leaving Selmont, I smiled. I was going to see her again.

We set the plan in motion immediately. Berian didn’t have time for the luxury of a formal debate. A royal detachment would carry the summons to Selmont, explain the urgency, and bring Lunette safely to the Tir.

“If your healer is as strong as you say she is, he’ll be on the mend soon,” Cam said solemnly.

I made a joke even as my stomach sank. “You actually sound happy about that.”

Cam had never been Berian’s top supporter. He was quiet for a long moment. He eventually said, “I’m happy when our people are safe and you’re okay.”

I stood abruptly, impatient now that my mind was made up. “Let’s tell Reina the plan.”

We stopped by my room first to grab the book I’d been brooding over for weeks and sent for Nisien. Then I dragged Camrick through the castle corridors at a pace better suited to a fleeing criminal than the Regent and the military’s top general. Every nerve in my body hummed with anticipation. The east tower bell would ring in an hour. The order had already been sent. If our men stayed on schedule, the squires would have mounts saddled and swords sharpened within two more chimes.