Page 60 of Minha Dona

One of those dreams… good. I like those dreams.

“Helena.” A whisper, barely audible.

“Mmm.” Helena had earned her sleep, earned her dreams, after the end to the Sunday that her and Caitlin had just had. She didn’t want to surface.

“Helena.” Another soft, gentle kiss. “Wake up.”

“What time is it?” She didn’t open her eyes. Not a dream then… far, far better.

“I don’t know. Late. Early. Doesn’t matter.” Another kiss on her neck. “There’s something I need.”

“Water’s on the nightstand,” Helena mumbled, rolling over.

Caitlin laughed in the dark. “Not water.”

Helena stirred, the fog of sleep starting to lift. The room was dark, truly dark now with the curtains drawn, only the faintest light leaking around the curtain edges. She could feel Caitlin behind her but could barely see her.

“What do you need, Gatinha?” Helena murmured, still half asleep, her Portuguese accent stronger as a consequence.

“I need to show you that I can be everything you need. Just once. Right now.”

Helena’s eyes opened. Not fully awake but no longer asleep, her body understood what Caitlin was asking before her mind caught up to it.

“You want to…”

“You don’t need to do anything,” Caitlin interrupted, taking Helena’s wrist in her hand. “But I need to show you that I can take control, just for a few minutes. For you, and for me.”

Helena’s sleep brain started to understand… Caitlin knew that occasionally Helena needed to switch, but also she’d just said she needed this for her. With Zoe she couldn’t have switched, that was clear from everything that Caitlin had told her about that relationship, so Helena understood: this was her proving to herself that the dynamic with Helena was so much healthier than it had been with Zoe, that Helena recognised all of who Caitlin was.

Beyond all of that, though, one thought echoed inside her head… yes, I want this, I want, just for a few minutes, to give myself entirely to this magnificent force of nature and let her take care of me, to have those brief minutes where I don’t need to think or control, where my Gatinha can be the one in charge.

Helena smiled in the dark. “You want me to be your purring little kitten,” she whispered.

“Exactly.” She could hear the grin in Caitlin’s voice. “Will you purr for me?”

“You need this?”

“I do. I think you do too.”

The answer was easy. “Yes.”

Caitlin moved fast.

Before Helena had had time to fully understand what was happening Caitlin had rolled her onto her back and was straddling her, a darker silhouette above her in the darkened room. Helena felt Caitlin’s hands find her wrists and move them up to the headboard, and then had the feel of two of the silk ties that Helena had left tied to each corner of the bed when they’d slept being wound around each wrist, firm, tight but not too tight.

“Is that ok?” Caitlin asked.

“Yes.”

The knots tightened. Helena tested them and they were firm, secure, she couldn’t have done better. Caitlin must have been paying attention. Her arms were stretched above her, wrists bound to opposite corners of the headboard. Caitlin did the same with her ankles, and the position opened her body up completely, exposed and vulnerable in the near absolute darkness.

She couldn’t see anything, not really. Not Caitlin above her, not her own body, not the room save for the faint outline of the curtains. There was only touch and sound, and the weight of Caitlin lying down next to her.

“Can you see me?” Caitlin whispered.

“No. Nothing.”

“Good. I don’t want you to see. I want you to feel.”