Page 80 of Where the Wattles Bloom

‘Yes.’

‘I mean about Arch—’

‘I know what you mean,’ she said, interrupting quietly, not surprised by his insight where she was concerned.

Despite outward appearances, Lachlan had proven to be very in tune with her thoughts and feelings. For a guy who swaggered about doing manly stuff, he was incredibly emotionally intuitive.

Which had been … unexpected.

Stereotypes about the dearth of sensitive men in the outback abounded, but were patently false where Lachlan was concerned. Maybe that came from his own experiences of grief. Maybe it had been Reggie’s influence. But the fact he was sensitive to where she was at emotionally and about her triggers only increased his sexiness tenfold.

He spoke again after long moments of silence. ‘You made it to the end of fourteen weeks.’

She nodded. ‘Yes.’

‘How are you … feeling about that?’

The question was tentative. He was clearly aware that his enquiry could be met with any number of responses, from neutral to hostile and anything in between. But Lachlan had once again proved he wasn’t scared of the sticky questions.

‘Mixed, I guess,’ she admitted, glancing at his profile. ‘Wondering if I should dare hope. Wanting to on one hand but still catastrophising on the other. Fourteen weeks is a definite milestone for me but it’s still early days.’

‘Is there a certain number of weeks where you’ll stop catastrophising?’

Rowena almost laughed. Now there was a question.

‘Well … viability is twenty-four weeks, but—’ She knew full well the struggles faced by premmie babies. The long hard road, the complications, the one-step-forward, two-steps-back roller coaster. ‘That’s still very tiny. And honestly, I’m going to be like a cat on a hot tin roof through all this pregnancy.’

Bad things could and did happen at any stage of pregnancy. Rowena was probably never going to relax until she was holding a full-term, squalling infant in her arms. But if the thought of supporting her emotionally for so long daunted Lachlan, he didn’t say so.

He just nodded and said, ‘Okay.’

There was more silence as they both contemplated the scenery, and Rowena wondered if his thoughts were as circular as hers. After a minute, he turned to face her, propping his hip against the railing.

‘Do you think … Now that …’ He paused. Grimaced. Shook his head a little as if trying to shake out the right words. ‘I know you haven’t wanted to talk about this, but … maybe it’s time to get an ultrasound?’

Rowena met his gaze, wondering if he knew the constant torment going on inside her over this matter. As a woman—a mother—she wanted to see her baby. As a midwife, she knew it was the medically responsible thing to do. But every fibre of her being shied away from it because what if?

The what ifs in her brain had quietened more and more as the pregnancy had progressed but they were still there. Still hiding and jumping on her in that place where she was most vulnerable—the point where hope and despair intersected.

Except, this wasn’t just her baby. And Lachlan had been incredibly patient. She didn’t think for a minute that he’d demand it, but she had to stop thinking only of herself because it wasn’t just about her. It was also about him.

And yeah, okay, as much as she knew how bittersweet it would be, a tiny part of her wanted to see the baby, too.

‘Yeah,’ she said quietly.

He blinked, a tentative smile touching his lips. ‘Yeah?’

‘Yeah.’ She nodded, her throat suddenly thick with a rising well of emotion. ‘It’s time.’

His smile grew bigger as his blue eyes lit up and, before she could evade him, his hand slid to her cheek to cup her face. ‘Thank you,’ he murmured. ‘Thank you.’

A traitorous tear brimmed over and spilled down her cheek, and he gently wiped it away with his thumb before leaning in, kissing her forehead and folding her into his embrace.

Rowena settled against his chest, the worn flannel of his shirt soft against her skin. She inhaled, the faint aromas of his musky deodorant, the laundry detergent Reggie used and something far more elemental filling her senses.

It felt so good like this, leaning into him. It wasn’t throwing her down on his bed and making her come so hard she saw stars, but right now, it was exactly what she needed.

*