Page 537 of Coal Hearts

“Henri?” A tentative knock on the door.

My head tipped down.

Guilt festered with the putridness inside me.

Go away, little nightmare.

I beg you.

“Are you...are you okay?” The door opened a crack.

I bared my teeth and spun to face her. “Get out!”

She blanched and backed up.

The fear in her eyes.

The hate beneath all her sweet obedience.

Ah shit.

My lunch reappeared as I crashed to my knees by the toilet. Closing my eyes, I rode through the wracking heaves and flushed my shame the moment my body had purged.

Staggering to my feet, I grabbed my toothbrush, scrubbed away all the shit I could never say, then spat minty froth into the sink.

By the time I’d splashed ice-cold water on my face, the attack had faded, leaving me jittery and guilty and fuck...

I yelled at her.

My first words to her in weeks, and they’d been delivered with violence.

I flinched.

She’d asked me why I’d scolded her. Asked why I’d said such cutting things to her when Victor interrogated me all while I stood dripping in Kyle’s cold blood.

I’d snapped because she stood up to Victor even then.

I’d put her in her place because she was so much braver than me, so much better than me, and if Victor grew to know her resilience like I had, he’d do his utmost to break it.

It was the one thing I couldn’t protect her from in here.

The one man I wouldn’t be able to stop from taking her.

My only weapon was to belittle Ily to the point she became completely undesirable in his eyes. If I could reduce her to nothing and demean her to the point she lost all intrigue, then...she’ll be safe.

Smoothing back my longer hair, I sucked in a deep breath and prepared to go back out there. To apologise. To do my best to explain the unexplainable shit inside me.

Only...

A heavy drone.

The telltale growl of an aircraft engine coming in to land.

No...

Bursting out of the bathroom, I spied Ily by the window.

Her face gilded in metallic pigments of red and gold from the setting sun, her eyes never straying from Victor’s private plane as it touched down beyond the wall.