Page 63 of Fractured Hearts

“Yeah, it’s awesome. I’ve listened to everything so far.” Jasper says and then gasps. “You listened to it.”

Fuck. I was a mess for that episode. I don’t think I’ve ever been covered in so much snot and tears. Thank god they don’t film it.

“Jo told me I needed to because I didn’t fully understand the damage I had caused. So I did, and she was right. I went down to the beach and listened to everyone I love in pain. Then I stayed there frozen in my grief until the weather literally froze my muscles.” Ezra’s voice breaks, and it’s clear he’s upset at just the memory of what he heard.

My ears are ringing and all I see is red. Jo did this? My heart speeds up to the point where it hurts with how hard it’s beating against my ribs. How could she? How could she almost take him from me again? I spin on my heel and march back into the house. I think I hear someone calling my name, but it doesn’t matter.

“It was your fault! You made me almost lose him again!” I scream the moment Jo comes into view. Her eyes are wide and confused.

“What are you talking about?” she asks, putting her laptop next to her and standing with her arms in front of her, palms up like she’s trying to calm a rabid dog.

“Why would you tell Ezra to listen to that podcast? Are you that vindictive? Or did you want me to yourself so badly that you had to hurt him?” Jo reels back like I slapped her.

“Maverick!” Ezra says, stomping into the house and staring at me like I’m the one at fault here.

“No! She almost cost me you! She was so selfish she was willing to risk you even though she knew it would kill me!” Jo gasps, and I watch tears streak down her face. Part of me knows I’m being unfair and irrational, but the anger is stronger and right now, when I look at her, all I can see is the woman who almost cost me the love of my life a second time.

“What the fuck are you talking about? Stop being an asshole to Jo and apologize,” Ezra says, his eyes flaming with an anger that matches my own.

“Fuck you both!” I shout and run out of the house.

“Maverick!” Ezra shouts, but I ignore him and keep running. My boots slip on the fresh snow and my jacket snags on tree branches, but I don’t care. I just keep running until my legs give out and then I stay there on the ground and sob for everything I could have lost and everything I just did.

sixty

EZRA

I turn to look at Jo. Her face is red and tears are still falling freely down her face. I don’t want to leave her, but I can’t let Maverick wander around the woods alone. I bought this property because it was on five acres of cliffside land that was basically just rocks and trees. No one wanted to build on it because the cliffs were crumbling into the ocean. If he gets too close, he could fall down them and get hurt or killed.

“Go after him,” Jo says, sniffing and wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater.

“I can’t leave you here alone,” I say. Someone could show up here while I’m gone and hurt her, but Maverick could be hurt now. I don’t know what the fuck to do.

Jo rolls her eyes. “It won’t be for long, and I can handle myself.”

“But—”

“Out of the two of us, who do you trust to handle themselves if there’s danger? Me or Maverick?” I can tell by the smug look on her face she knows I can’t deny it’s her.

“Fine. Lock the doors and have a gun on you. I’ll be back with him as quickly as I can.” Jo nods, wrapping her arms around herself like it’s the only thing holding her together. “He’s wrong, you know,” I add on my way out the door.

Jo doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t have to. I know she doesn’t believe me, but once I find Maverick and talk some sense into him, he’ll apologize, and we can get back to what we were building.

sixty-one

JO

I watch Ezra quickly follow Maverick’s footsteps in the snow before I run upstairs. I send Darren a text and pack a bag. I really only need my laptop and some clean clothes. I don’t have any personal possessions here, anyway. I leave my phone on my bed, knowing Ezra has a way to track it. I can’t have him doing that. I need a clean break. To start over somewhere else where there are no men that broke my heart. It’s a risk with Patrick still out there, but staying here, stagnant and unmoving like slimy pond water isn’t helping anyone. I think about pausing the camera alerts long enough for Darren to get in and out of here without Ezra knowing, but with my luck something else would happen at the same time and I can’t be blamed for another catastrophe today.

Putting my jacket on and slipping my feet into my boots feels almost robotic. It’s the second time I’ve been so overwhelmed by emotion in this house that I’ve gone numb. Part of me hopes it falls into the ocean, but the other part of me that’s holding out hope never wants to leave. And that’s the part that needs to be squashed. I’m tired of feeling like this. Tired of hurting and wanting and needing but being left alone to bleed.

I don’t know what it is about me that makes me so unlovable. The way I look attracts all kinds of attention, but that’s about it. People want to look at me or fuck me. I’m always too busy or too cold or too selfish for relationships. Because having goals and not broadcasting my every emotion is apparently a major flaw. They can all add it to the running list my mother has had since I was born. Causing hypothermia is a new one though.

I see Darren’s car bumping down the dirt path, and after a moment’s hesitation, I grab the gun Ezra keeps hidden in the small table next to the door, shove it in my bag, and go out to meet him. I feel guilty for leaving like this, but I have to protect what’s left of me. As we drive down the narrow path to the main road, I can’t help but feel that maybe I’m leaving everything I am behind.

“Are you sure I can’t talk you into staying in our guest room? Martha would love to have you.”

Darren was less than thrilled when I asked him to drive me to the small bed-and-breakfast that sits on the edge of town. It’s not like it’s unsafe, but I can tell he’s worried about me.