Page 59 of Fractured Hearts

“Stop, Ez. There are a lot of things you could’ve done. Probably lots of things I could’ve done too, but it doesn’t matter. We’re both alive, and we need to make sure everyone we love stays that way.” The finality in his voice is unmistakable.

“Okay.” But there was one more thing I needed to apologize for that’s been eating at me. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Maverick.” What I don’t say is that if he’d known, he could’ve been with Belle sooner. Belle would never have been with Brad and endured his abuse. I feel responsible for so many things that logically, I know are out of my control, but the guilt is still there.

“Yeah, me too. How is he?”

“Great,” I say with a smile. “He’s uh . . .” We haven’t talked about telling people about our relationship, but Kai is my twin, and I don’t think I’m capable of keeping anything from him anymore. “We’re taking things slow and getting to know each other again.”

“That’s great!” And I can tell he really means it.

“He’s also taking things slow with Jo.” I nervously pick at the skin around my thumbnail as I wait for his response.

“Are you okay with that?” he asks eventually.

“Yeah, I am,” I answer, surprised by how right it feels.

“Well then, I think that’s wonderful. Everyone was worried it would be a mess up there with the three of you together. I mean, everyone knows Jo’s feelings for Mav and his feelings for you. Willa has been looking at how to start a shell company or something to buy real estate with so she can buy another safe house.” He’s laughing, but I know Willa has already probably figured out and started a company and is halfway to buying something.

“No need. We’re all good here. It’s actually working out better than I expected.” Well, all two days of this, but I’m not mentioning that.

“I’m happy for you, Ez.”

“What if I’m not gay?” I blurt out. I’ve been doing that a lot lately. It’s like me holding in my emotions for eight years has them bursting at the seams to come out suddenly.

“Do you mean you’re not attracted to Mav anymore? I thought you just said it was all good.” His confusion is fair, but I really wish he could read my mind right now. Explaining this to Jasper was hard enough. Having to do it again blows.

“No. I’m definitely attracted to Maverick. My dick is very attracted to Maverick.”

“Gross,” Kai mutters.

“Jasper had me look up demisexual, and I think that’s what I am.”

“Oh. You’ve been getting boners for Jo. Got it.” Kai laughs.

“What?” I yell. He’s not wrong, but I wasn’t expecting that reaction. “I mean, yes. You know what demisexual is?”

“Of course I do. I don’t live under a rock. You only feel sexual attraction when there’s an emotional connection.”

When he puts it like that, it sounds so simple and not at all life-altering.

“Have you talked to her about it?”

“Nope. Can’t.” I’m getting sweaty again just thinking about it.

“Why not?” Kai asks, and by his tone, I know he’s mentally calling me an idiot.

“I can’t throw a wrench into something we just started.”

Kai sighs again, like I’m testing his patience. “I think that type of relationship requires a lot of communication, and you withholding something this big is what’s actually going to throw a wrench in it.”

I groan. He’s right, and it’s fucking annoying. Jo said the same thing about communication. It’s been two days, and I’m already failing at that part. I don’t know how to bring it up. I don’t think Maverick would have an issue if Jo and I were together, too. In fact, I think he’d be thrilled. I just don’t know Jo’s feelings, and honestly, this is so new that I’m doubting mine. How do I bring this up with them and then later find out it was a fluke? I can’t play with Jo’s feelings that way. I care about her too much.

“I’m going to think about it,” I say after letting myself spiral for a minute. “I need to be sure before I say anything.” And potentially ruin everything, but I keep that part to myself.

“Sometimes situations like this work themselves out,” Kai says, and I know he’s grinning to himself like he’s some sort of love guru.

“I need to go pick up groceries before the store closes,” I say, worn out from this conversation and probably from not taking time to rest.

“For what it’s worth, I forgive you, Ez. For everything. So stop carrying that baggage and go figure out your relationships.”