Page 48 of Fractured Hearts

“It was my fault,” Ezra says and then explains what actually happened.

“I’m, uh, proud of you?” Maverick says to me, seeming very confused about how he’s supposed to feel about everything.

I snort and shake my head. I start to clean the kitchen and hear them quietly talking about how Kai and everyone else is doing. I smile despite the pain in my heart. This is what I wanted. This is what Maverick needs.

forty-five

EZRA

It takes a few days, but eventually the awkwardness between Maverick and me is mostly gone. Everything we talk about is superficial, but we’re speaking, and he isn’t looking at me like I betrayed him anymore. He’s still guarded, and I can’t blame him for that. I wish this was easier, and I wish more than anything that Jo wasn’t hurting because of it. She’s thrown herself back into researching the murder that caused all of this, not that I think she’s going to find much. If my dad can’t find something, it probably doesn’t exist.

“Hey,” I say when I walk into the living room and see Maverick on the couch, reading. “Jasper’s playing right now if you want to watch it with me?” We watched one of his games together so far and a movie with Jo. There isn’t a lot else to do when you’re trying to keep a low profile with a famous rockstar in your house. Maverick wanted to go into town to explore, but I wouldn’t let him. He wasn’t happy about it, but agreed when I pointed out that it would only take one person recognizing him and posting it online for Patrick to find us. To find Jo.

“Sure,” Maverick says, sticking a ripped piece of paper in his book and putting it on the coffee table. “Jasper’s hot.” I can’t help the snarl that comes across my face, but Maverick just laughs. “Still have that possessive streak, I see.”

“I’m not possessive,” I defend. I am.

“Kai has it too, you know. You should see him with Belle. He doesn’t even like me hugging her, and I see her as a sister.”

I snort. “We are twins.”

“What are you guys watching?” Jo asks as she goes to the kitchen and rummages around in the fridge.

“Jasper. Want to watch with us?” Maverick calls over to her.

“He’s hot. I’m in,” she says. I growl and then frown at the reaction. I catch Maverick looking at me and then he smirks. Jasper doesn’t even like women. Neither do I. I think. I still haven’t looked up what Jasper asked me to. I have too much going on right now to have a sexuality crisis. A fuzzy memory of me drunkenly claiming wine makes me straight pops into my head, but that’s all I remember.

Jo plops onto the couch in the middle of us, placing a plate with cheese and crackers on it in her lap. “I have snacks. I’m ready to watch Jasper beat the . . . other bird team,” Jo says after squinting at the laptop screen. I really should get a TV for this place, but I honestly didn’t think we’d be here this long.

We all relax and watch the game as best we can on the small screen, finishing up the snacks pretty quickly. We chat the whole time, sometimes laughing. I realize it’s the first time I’ve felt whole in eight years. It’s easy to think it’s Maverick being here, but I know it’s not just him. Jo is part of that too. Her friendship snuck up on me the same way Declan’s did, but it feels so much more important. Like if I let her, she could change everything, and that terrifies me.

I look over Jo’s head at Maverick and see him smiling at her. His gaze moves to me and that same smile stays on his beautiful face. I don’t know what that means or if he would even know if I asked him. Does it mean he only sees me as a friend, or does he love me? Because if he loves me, he must love her the same way, and I don’t know if I can let her have him. I wish I could be selfless like her, but I can’t. I know deep down in my soul that I could never give him up if there’s even a small chance he still feels for me what I do for him.

As I’m thinking all these thoughts, I look at Jo, who's chatting happily with Maverick about the book she gave him to read, probably the one he was reading before I came into the room, and I realize I don’t want to give her up either. I want to be selfish and keep them both somehow.

I’m so fucked.

forty-six

JO

I’m drowning. I know they can sense it, even though I’ve been doing a much better job keeping my feelings off my face. Spending more time in my room is helping, or maybe it’s making it worse. If I’m alone with either of them, everything feels normal. It’s when the three of us are together or the two of them don’t know I’m there that makes things painful.

Maverick has only been here for a week, and even in that short amount of time, I can see them getting closer. Smiling at each other in a way only longtime lovers do. I wish I was less observant, less intelligent. Or maybe I wish I was more so I could be what someone wants.

“Are you okay?” I jump at the sound of Ezra’s voice, having been too lost in my thoughts to hear him coming.

“I’m fine. I’m making a salad for lunch. Do you want one?” I turn away from the angry ocean I had been watching. A storm is coming in, and the waves are getting bigger against the cliffs.

“Jo—”

“Is Maverick hungry? I haven’t seen him in a while,” I interrupt, pulling what I need from the fridge to make a very basic salad. We need to go shopping soon, but Ezra doesn’t want anyone in town to see Maverick while also not wanting to leave us alone in the house without him. We’re going to starve before he figures it out.

“You don’t have to pretend to be okay with me, Bambi. I know you’re not, and I’m sorry for whatever part I played in your pain,” Ezra says quietly. My whole body stiffens before I turn around to look at him.

“Fuck you, Ezra. Fuck you and what you did to Maverick. You don’t deserve the happy ending you’re about to get,” I say through clenched teeth. I’m so angry, but I don’t want to start screaming and get Maverick involved. “But isn’t that the case? The undeserving somehow always wins and us chumps get the scraps if we get anything at all.”

The truth is, Ezra probably does deserve the happy ending. He went through a lot and never once stopped loving Maverick. I’m just bitter and angry about always being pushed aside or overlooked. No matter how hard I work or how much I tend to relationships, I’m never enough. Now I get to watch how my not being enough plays out right in front of my face, and I can’t take it anymore. Ezra is just the unfortunate casualty of my feelings he seems to care so much about.