Page 78 of The Crowned Queen

The shadow around her wrist tightened its grip, squeezing gently. Araya smiled down at it through the tears suddenly flooding her eyes, stroking it with one finger. At least one of them didn’t care about her scars, or what Jaxon Shaw had done to her.

Maybe it was a coward’s move, but Araya waited until she heard the murmur of voices beyond the door before she finally slipped out into the main room.

Serafina and Kai sat across from Loren at the same heavy wooden table Araya had spent days laid out upon, drifting in and out of strange dreams and confused wakings. Serafina leaned forward, both hands wrapped around a steaming tin cup as she spoke softly to Loren.

“—can’t stay in bed all day,” she was saying. “Part of recovery is getting up and moving around⁠—”

“She’s barely back on her feet,” Loren growled. “She almost died. She can’t just go marching through the forest like nothing happened⁠—”

“Araya,” Kai said, his voice jarringly bright. “Good morning.”

Loren snapped his mouth closed on whatever else he’d been about to say.

“And there she is,” Serafina said, smiling. “How are you feeling?”

“Maybe not like I could march through the forest.” Araya slid into the seat next to Loren, her gaze fixed deliberately on Kai across the table. “But I’m certainly looking forward to having these runes removed today.”

“Well—” infuriatingly, Kai’s gaze flicked from her to Loren, his brow furrowing. “I’m ready whenever you are. But there really isn’t any rush⁠—”

“I want Serafina to examine her again first,” Loren said.

Araya’s head snapped sideways, meeting Loren’s furious green eyes. “Excuse me?”

Serafina made a noise somewhere between a cough and a gasp, burying her face in her cup. “Loren,” she said when she’d recovered. “I’m not sure that’s necessary⁠—”

“It’s not,” Araya cut in. “And I don’t need you second-guessing me,” she added, glaring at Loren.

“I just want you to be safe,” Loren argued. “You almost died⁠—”

“But I didn’t!” Araya shoved back from the table, rising to her feet. “I’m your mate, Loren. Not your ward. So if you don’t like the decisions I’m making about my own body, you don’t have to be here⁠—”

Serafina cleared her throat. “Actually,” she said, slowly setting her cup down. “He does. I only cleared you because Loren can share power with you. Otherwise, it will slow your healing too much.” She winced, glancing between them. “Sorry.”

Of course. Araya clenched her teeth, tilting her face up to stare up at the patched roof. The backs of her eyes burned, but she refused to let the tears fall. Of course she couldn’t have just this one thing to decide on her own.

“Well,” she said carefully when she trusted her voice again, her gaze still fixed on the ceiling. “I suppose it is up to you after all.”

For a moment no one spoke, the uncomfortable silence stretching too long as Araya blinked hard, fighting not to let the tears fall in front of all of them. Then, Loren’s fingers brushed hers.

“I’m sorry, ael’sura,” he murmured, his voice soft. “I’m not trying to take your choice from you.” His shadows wound around her ankles, cool even through the thick fabric of the men’s breeches she wore. “If it’s that important to you, we’ll do it. Together.”

“It should be important to you too,” Araya snapped, jerking her hand away. “This is what’s keeping me from accessing our bond. Don’t you care?”

“Of course I care,” Loren said, his voice low. “But I care more about your recovery.”

Araya didn’t jerk away when he reached for her this time, letting him pull her back to the table. She scrubbed a hand across her eyes, a lump in her throat as he wound his fingers through hers, squeezing gently. There shouldn’t be this distance between them. Fate had bound them together—it wasn’t supposed to be this hard.

“Alright then,” Kai said, clearing his throat. “Now that that’s settled.” He spread a fresh linen cloth across the table, unrolling his toolkit beside it. “You know once I start, I won’t be able to stop, right?”

Beside her, Loren went still, his fingers tightening around hers. But Araya just stared at the needles, her world narrowing to those sharp, iron points.

“I remember,” she confirmed.

“And some people prefer to have a leather strap to bite down on,” Kai said carefully. “Would you⁠—”

Araya’s heart skipped a beat, a cold sweat breaking out on the back of her neck. For a moment, she was back on that table, leather straps pinning her down as they cut her dress off her. On the rack, as Caylin cut into her⁠—

“No,” she said, too quickly. “No strap.”