Page 108 of The Crowned Queen

“But—”

“No buts,” Caela said firmly. “Finn had us go through the armory last night. We have real weapons now, armor—the kinds of things that would have saved lives in Farhallow. And our magic—” she smiled, her face lighting up despite the grimness of their situation. “I had no idea it would be like this. I feel like I could level a building.”

“I hope you don’t have to,” Araya said softly.

“But if I do have to, I can,” Caela pointed out. “You gave us that, Araya. Kai might have been the one to figure out how to release our magic, but he never even would have been in Farhallow if not for you. Even if we all die here, I’ll die glad I felt my full magic at least once in my life.”

Caela held out her hand. Araya took it, her throat suddenly thick.

“I hope it doesn’t come to that,” she said. “But if it does…I’m glad I met you.”

Caela smiled. “I’m glad I met you too.” She climbed to her feet, brushing off her pants. “Come on, let’s find out what we can do to help prepare.”

Things moved quickly after that—with not even an hour passing before Naeva bolted upright from a dead sleep, her violet eyes wild. Araya had never met someone with an affinity for premonition before, but she’d felt the surge of magic and heard the panic in Naeva’s voice. They were close.

Finn spread the others out across the second-floor balcony, where they would be able to pick off anyone who came through the doors below with arrows or stones or magic—hopefully before they even realized what was happening. Brynn stood at the upper window, ready to rain fire down on them from above. Serafina set herself up at the back, piles of bandages Araya prayed they wouldn’t need stacked up at her side.

“I should be up there too,” Araya said, watching the others take their positions from where she and Loren stood amid the overgrown garden. “I could shield someone.”

“They wouldn’t be able to fire arrows from behind a shield,” Loren pointed out. “And you’d draw the Arcanum’s focus away. We want them to come straight for the grove.”

“Straight at you, you mean.” Araya wrapped her arms around her middle, hugging her elbows. “I don’t like this.”

Loren adjusted his sword at his side. “My father always said it was good to feel fear. If you aren’t afraid, you’re overconfident.”

Araya shook her head, blinking hard against the tears stinging the back of her eyes. She could already smell the smoke. Unlike Brynn’s clean-burning flame, this reeked of scorched magic. The Arcanum’s forces were burning their way through the forest. Destroying trees that had stood for centuries just to get to her.

“Hey—” Loren pulled her into his arms. “We’re fighting to win, right?”

Araya grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him down to her in a crash of lips and teeth without caring who might be watching from the second floor. Both of them were breathing hard when they broke apart, Loren’s face filled with something between wonder and fear.

“There’s something I want to talk to you about,” he said.

Araya’s stomach dropped. “What?”

“I’ve been thinking,” he said. “About my mother and how she died. If we lose⁠—”

“No.” Araya shook her head. She didn’t want to hear this.

“We have to consider it, ael’sura.” He cupped her face. “If Shaw wins here, he will kill me. But there’s no reason you have to stand in that grove and sacrifice yourself.”

“Loren—”

“Let me do it.” He talked over her, his voice rough. “It doesn’t have to be you. It shouldn’t be you. You—you can find another way out. Go back to Eluneth, stay in Aetheris⁠—”

“No.” Araya jerked back a step, her eyes burning. “No. Neither one of us is supposed to die.”

“I know,” Loren said, his voice very quiet. “There’s nothing I want more in this world than to live a long, uneventful life with you. In peace. But if that’s not meant to be—” He smiled sadly. “I want you to live, ael’sura. Queen or not, that’s up to you. But live.”

Tears dripped down Araya’s cheeks. He was giving her an out. She could leave them all—go back to Aetheris or Eluneth, or somewhere else altogether. Somewhere no one knew who she was. But Loren would be dead. She’d be leaving Serafina behind to die. Abandoning Finn and Caela and Kai and Brynn and Naeva.

Araya opened her mouth, knowing she had to say something—but what did a person say when given a choice like that?

The sentry rune shrieked before she found an answer, its shrill whistle shattering the air. Loren flinched, his expression shuttering.

“It’s time.” He dropped his forehead against hers for a moment, their breath mingling between them as the shadows caressed them both. “Fight to win, ael’sura.”

And then he pulled away.