Escalus's brows rose. "Kissed you, huh?" He looked at Dennis. "Now, I expect you to care for our Bjorn's virtue on that date, you know. No hanky-panky."
Dennis considered that for a moment. "How about moderate hanky-panky, but only if the date is good?" he bargained.
Escalus waved a gracious hand. "I'll allow it." He grinned. "Was it a good kiss?"
"So good," Bjorn gushed, smiling at the memory. Dennis's lips had been just the right amount of soft and just the right amount of firm. No sloppy tongue, but enough pressure to make him wish there had been some tongue. Maybe he'd get tongue after their date. Now he just needed to plan the most epic date ever. No pressure.
"Wasn't bad," Dennis agreed laconically, and then slouched his way into one of Escalus's desk chairs. "So, what's our game plan for the evil parents?"
It was as if the kiss had released a tension in Dennis that Bjorn hadn't realized was there. Suddenly he was…relaxed and comfortable in a way he hadn't been so far. It warmed Bjorn's soul to see it.
"Well," said the alpha, "I thought we'd call the community center first, to see if they're even willing to take on our two problem children. If they are, we can cooperate to make plans for their…what did you call it?" he asked Dennis. "A pip?"
"PIP, yep," Dennis nodded. "And I agree that we need buy-in from the community center before we go any further."
Escalus nodded and picked up his cell phone off the desk. A few flicks of his thumb and the phone was on speaker and ringing.
Two rings in, a female voice picked up. "Warming Hearts Community Center, this is Faye speaking, how can I help you today?"
"Hello, Faye," said Escalus, his voice warm and rich and very alpha in a way he didn't often bother to put on. "My name is Escalus Prior and I'm the alpha of the local bear den."
"Oh! Yes, of course, y'all donate to us every year!" Bjorn could almost hear her smile. "What can I help you with, Esc- uh, Alpha? Is that the right way to address you?"
"You can call me Escalus," the man said, smiling slightly into the phone. "You're not one of my people, so you're not obligated to use my honorific. And I'd like to talk to someone about possibly sending you some volunteers from my den. Well, 'volunteers' is perhaps not exactly the right word."
Faye tittered. "Oh, community service, huh?"
"I…well, yes, actually, I suppose you could call it that. Do you work with people in those circumstances?" asked Escalus cautiously.
"We do! You and they would have to sign a contract basically guaranteeing their good conduct, and we reserve the right to remove them if they cause problems, but we have a pretty good success rate with community service volunteers. Let me get you over to our volunteer coordinator, Ted. Hold one moment."
Before any of them could reply, there was a click followed by hold music. The alpha looked over the phone at Bjorn and Dennis. "Sounds promising," he commented thoughtfully. "Though I don't know how your parents are going to feel about signing a good conduct agreement. I imagine there'll be some bitching."
"Let 'em bitch," Dennis replied with a shrug. "Like you said last night, you have the power to fuck them over if they don't cooperate."
"Fuck 'em," Bjorn agreed. It felt deliciously transgressive to say, even after all these years.
A click on the line, and a bored-sounding masculine voice rumbled through it. "This is Ted. What's up?"
"Hello, Ted," said Escalus. "I'm calling from the bear den and wanted to talk to you about voluntee- uh, voluntelling some of my people to your center."
"Oh, awesome!" Ted suddenly sounded a lot more enthusiastic. "How many people are we talking, and do they have any particular skills?"
Escalus looked at Bjorn, who shrugged. He supposed his father was skilled at…negative political ploys? And his mother could be bossy? Was either of those useful to a community center? "Politics?" he offered tentatively.
The alpha nodded. "I've got two folks who need an introduction to real life," he told Ted, "and they fancy themselves political players. Can't say they're good at it, but they definitely think they are."
"Hmm." Bjorn could almost picture Ted nodding thoughtfully. "How would you feel about them doing manual labor?"
"Oh, that would be awesome," Escalus chortled. "Make them paint the building or something. My main concern is that they learn to work with, and possibly answer to, humans."
"Oh, this sounds interesting." A sound came over the line, as if Ted had just leaned back in a squeaky desk chair. "You looking to teach them a life lesson or five?"
"Absolutely. I need my den members to be more comfortable with humans, and my suspicion is that these folks are the ringleaders in keeping people uncomfortable."
Ted made an understanding noise. "I've got a couple volunteers who would be happy to stand up to pushy shifters. Let me think about what specific tasks I can set your people to with them, but in the meantime, let me get your people's names and your contact info. I'll get back to you when I have something final, probably sometime tomorrow."
Escalus rattled off the information, and the men exchanged a few pleasantries before ending the call. As he hung up, he looked at Dennis and Bjorn. "At the very least, doing this community center work should distract your parents from harassing you."