Page 115 of Now Their Starlet

He goes still, making me lean my head back so I can try to gauge his expression better.

“Do you... want a distraction, Honey?” he asks, his voice low and barely restrained.

“Yes,” I say automatically.

He lets out a shaky breath.

“I would be lying if I said that you getting me all worked up in the car wasn’t one of the reasons I didn’t notice you were in distress. I tried to avoid looking at you in there, because I knew if I did, all I’d want to do is bend you over the table—everyone else in the room be damned.”

“Oh—oh,” I say, blinking up at him with understanding.

Something about his words, about the graphic imagery of me bent over that large conference table, draws my mind back into my body. Maybe I was right, and the more turned on I am, the less room there is in my brain for fear.

“It’s not going to be a tender or a sweet distraction, Honey. I need you to know that.”

“That’s—that’s okay,” I breathe out. “I have the others for that. You’re the one I want right now.”

CHAPTER 23

Everett

She’s starting to come back to me, bit by bit. I can see it in her eyes. They’re not as glazed over as they were a few minutes ago.

The fragile trust she’s extending to me makes something crack wide open in my chest. She’s accepting me—even the parts she can’t possibly understand yet.

But she wants to learn about my desires; she wants a distraction, and I can give her one.

I just need to be careful not to send her further into her dissociative state. I need to make sure she stays present with me,.

“Please,” she says, blinking up at me.

I don’t think there are any set of circumstances that would make me deny her in this moment.

“I need to know your limits, Honey,” I murmur. She feels so small against me as I brace her against the door, trying to at least offer her the physical reassurance her body needs when she’s in this state.

“Limits? Like... what I don’t want you to do?”

“Exactly.”

Her brows draw down. Despite the circumstances, I can’t help but admire how adorable I find the crease between her brows that forms when she’s thinking really hard.

“I don’t know.”

I nod slowly, doing my best to calm my racing heart so I can focus on safe play practices.

“Because you haven’t thought about it much?” I murmur.

At her nod of assent, I press my lips softly against her forehead. I’ve done this quite often. It’s almost become a tic of mine. Whenever I’m thinking of filthy, lascivious things, I’ll press a kiss to her forehead to try to tamp down those urges.

This forehead kiss though? It feels different. Because she’s trusting me enough to actually accept this part of myself I’ve tried to keep away from her.

“That’s okay for now. Do you know what the stoplight system is?”

“No, what is it?”

“It’s a safe word system. Sometimes throughout a scene, I’ll ask you for your color. You can also share your color at any time. Green means you’re enjoying things. Yellow means slow down. Red means stop completely, no questions asked, we head straight to aftercare. I need you to know that even if you use your safe word and end a scene, I won’t be upset. I can’t have you pushing your own limits trying to please me. Do you understand?”

I reach out and gently cup her jaw, guiding her gaze up to meet mine.