Page 5 of Light Leech

I had no child.

Enough time had passed for my memories to calibrate. My children’s deaths weren’t my fault because they never existed. Despite the relief, I longed for the bond that I had for them. I was by no means ready for children, but the relationship had felt so real.

As real as my marriage with Naoma. It was a distant dream, one too far into the future to wish for.

That did nothing to diminish the joy I had felt. The memories were false, but the emotions were all too real.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“What?” She looked at me.

I continued to stare at the corpse. “I’m so–”

“No, I know what you were saying. What I mean is, don’t be. Don’t be sorry. You did nothing wrong. That thing–whatever it did to you… I’m sorry you had to deal with that.” She paused, as if she wanted me to tell her what it had done but was not willing to be impolite. “We never should have come here in the first place.”

“What?” She grabbed my head, pulling me from my dismal reverie. “Look at me, Petya.”

I obeyed. Seeing bravery in her visage, despite all that she had seen, lifted me up. Corporate enslavement as a musician and actress, a missing past, now a ghost following her. There was so much to process, yet she kept her chin up.

“This was my choice.“ She let go of me. “Not yours.”

“I–”

“No. I was the one who thought it would be a good idea to try a Bygone Therapist. Not for past trauma, but to find a past I never knew. Curiosity got the best of me. If you would have–”

“Don’t blame yourself. Ralia took this ‘therapist’ from Cut’s contacts.”

“That should have been enough of a red flag.” She laughed, but it was no easy feat.

“I don’t think so. If Cut had some issues with his memory or past, he would have found the best person on the market. We’ll have Ralia check into it when we’re back. I’m sure someone found their way onto our path to put this thing in our way instead of whoever actually worked with Cut.”

“All her new upgrades should help with that, right?”

“If anyone would be happy to replace her missing body parts with tech, it would be Ralia. Who knows, she might have done it herself without the help of Nichley.”

We laughed.

She sighed. “Zeg, there’s so much to deal with.” Looking up at the corpse, she asked, “Do you think Nichley sent that?”

I shrugged. “Maybe. It could be any of the Beacons now that we’re on their radar.”

“Nine more and we didn’t even kill Deleon.”

“Piece by piece. The Luxists told us to go for the Dokkaebi and the Correction first.”

“Do you think whoever sent this thing after us?”

“It could be anyone. I know everyone wanted to take a week off, but it looks like responsibility is getting in the way.”

“We only had another day left of rest, right? I’m sure the others will understand.”

“Except for Boyband,” I looked at her. We laughed again. This time, it was more sincere.

I would have kept that smile if she hadn’t brought up the therapist’s cognitive assault. I had to face it eventually. She was right to cleanse the platter before piling more trauma on top. I knew more would come soon enough.

Pain would be a constant companion until the Gongtide was defeated. If we failed, pain would be the demon who dragged us into damnation.

“Who is Syla?” She asked as delicate as her soft touch on my shoulder. It was a friendly gesture, far from any intimacy I had experienced in that vision, but I savored it.