“And that is?”
“Finding someone I could spend the rest of my life with. I know, I know, it’s too early to think about things like that, but my point is that I loved just being with her. Sitting. Talking about important things and worthless topics. Talking just to talk. Being with her just to be with her. What’s my problem? All of this. Work interrupting the glimpse of peace I had. I just want to spend time with her.”
“It’ll come soon enough.” She smiled and pointed to my right.
I looked out where the dreamlike lights had drifted and found that my thoughts had spilled into this realm. The violet, emotion-filled lights of my steps had formed into an image of Naoma. The Neon Idol, cast again in violet light, danced in the distance as if it was the sea and she was its queen.
I smiled, watching her move, until the light dissipated as I pulled my thoughts back into focus. My steps were blue again.
“It’ll work out, Pet.”
“I hope. I hope this works out for all of us. It’s hard to see otherwise, but I always feel like something is going to go wrong.”
“It probably will, and that’s fine, but don’t shell up. When Naoma’s gone, try to stay off the socitabs. We are always here for you. I am always here for you.”
“You mean a lot to me too, Ral. I hope you know that.”
“Look at you getting all sappy.”
“Don’t ruin it.”
“I’m savoring it. We all look up to you. Your flaws don’t distract from that.”
“As do I to you.”
She scoffed. “I don’t deserve–”
“That’s guk and you know it. We love you, Ral. We wouldn’t be here in the neurocore without you.”
“I’m not sure I should take that as a compliment.”
“It is. We all have to go through hell and you make it smooth. Light knows we would have been caught and killed by now if you hadn’t been by us to cover our tracks.”
She smiled. “I’m far from perfect, but I try my best.” Her voice took a turn for solemnity. “I wasn’t there for Keiro.”
“Ral.” I shook my head. The reminder ached every time I remembered his bitter end. “That was his own fault.”
“But I could have kept an eye on him. I know you don’t like it when I do, but I do it for a reason. I won’t lose any of you ever again. The only one who refused my surveillance was Tevon and looked at what happened to him. That wasn’t my fault… but Keiro was different. We all saw him acting up. Different. Moody. One foot on the edge.”
How long had it been since I had heard Ralia sound so distraught? Being around her, one wondered if she was capable of sadness. We had all been hurt.
“Stop. It wasn’t your fault.”
I put my arm around her and wondered if her true body was weeping for what her inner self felt. “We all failed him.”
“Don’t blame yourself either, Pet. You were still getting used to this hell of a life, and I don’t mean that in a good way.”
“I know, but you were there for me that entire time. You were the sister I never had. Are that sister. If it hadn’t been for your warmth as I learned to cope with all of this… I might have ended up like Keiro.”
“Stop. None of that. You’re here, so am I, let’s leave it at that, kay?”
“I love you, Ral. You know that, right?”
It felt so warm to say that. Neither of us thought it was anything close to romantic love. Just as it was with Boyband. This familial love had grown amidst our suffering and bound us together tighter because of it.
“Of course I do. I love you too, Pet. I want nothing more than the best for you. You’ll get Naoma. It’s bound to happen.”
I smirked. I wanted it to be true, but it was up to Naoma. My hand was ever extended. She could take it or leave it, but I was there. She was more than a special girl. She was my Neon Idol. Not the concept, but the girl herself.