Page 221 of Light Leech

“I’m so sorry.”

“It’s nothing. Just another obstacle. It’ll wear off like any other dream, right?”

She shrugged. “I’ve never seen anything like it, but you already sound like you’re processing it. Maybe this is why I don’t remember my past. Maybe some things are best left untouched.”

“But is sparing yourself that pain worth it? Those memories are you. The ones that I had–”

“Might have been a version of a life you hoped for? Who’s to say it won’t happen? Save the last part, of course.”

Had she heard me refer to her part in it at all?

“Boyband has a lot to accomplish before I ever consider naming my son after him.”

She smirked.

“Tell me about all of… whatever that serpent was. “

She held up a finger. “As long as we get to the light we saw in him.”

I nodded. Since our first “date.” she had given me glimpses of the spirit that accompanied her.

“Ever since I left Nichley’s ownership, I’ve felt that thing grow in strength. What I showed you in that diner wasn’t a secret I’ve been holding for a long time. I think I would have remembered it from working with Reef, as do I most of that job, but it was never there. Something awoke it in Arabasia. Maybe it was all of you and your ghosts, I don’t know. This was the first time it actually tried to protect me. It all felt so natural.”

“Do you think whatever he was trying to do to you triggered it?”

“Maybe? You’ve told me how your Gui always tells you to ascend. Maybe mine is as well.”

“You think you have a Gui?”

“I don’t think so? I mean, I don’t want to eat teeth.”

“Maybe yours is more pure.”

“It’s different, for sure.”

“Does it talk to you?”

“No, it’s not like that. It doesn’t even feel like a separate being. It’s more like an extension of me.” She shrugged. “Questions for the Luxists, right? They seemed to know about your Gui.”

“I guess we’ll find out soon enough.”

“Now that thing—“ She pointed at the therapist’s corpse.

“Could you tell what he was trying to do to you?”

She nodded, grimacing only enough for me to notice it, though I could tell she was trying to push through. “When I first walked in, everything seemed fine. I’d never been to a therapist before, so the upfront, pushy optimism wasn’t too off-putting. A guy has to sell his product. Anton was the same when taking on new clients.

“Rather than waste our time with small talk, he said it would be best to just go into the neuroread. I told him that I came for only an initial consultation. He said those aren’t a market standard and any therapist who has an initial visit like that is just trying to capitalize on the mentally unwell. What? Don’t look at me like that. I wasn’t being that naive. Ralia was the one who found the name for us.”

“Another lesson,” I said, “while Ralia is honest, she’s honest to herself and what she thinks is best, even if she knows you’ll disagree with it.”

Naoma rolled her eyes. “Whatever. He was pushy so I gave him a shot. To be fair, this wasn’t the first time that serpent defended me. I had been wrestling with what it is for a long time before I told you about it at the diner. Crazy fans in Zingang whenever I toured in Blue Districts. It was never a full-on serpent, but I saw a powerful light force people off of me. Still wasn’t enough to prevent the damage Reef did to me, but I knew there was a chance. If not…” Her eyes were down as she traced her finger in a spiral on the ground.

She looked up at me.

“I was outside,” I said.

She nodded. “I’m glad you came along for all of this. I know I need to tell the others about all of this, but like you were saying, it’s hard to trust those closest to us. Ali. Cut. Deleon.”