Page 171 of Light Leech

A scholarly success should have made Ralia ecstatic. Instead, her smile was gone and her eyes anything but thrilled. They called us scholars, but in this we were fools. We knew nothing, but continued because there was no other option.

“Have you ever been to the moon?” I asked.

“Me? Nah. It’s a waste of lumens. I’ve seen the three resorts they offer and whatever one this claims is the ‘best’ doesn’t make it much better than the others.”

“Why?”

“You might as well book a vacation anywhere else. All you really have access to outside of the hotel is a field to jump around on, and even that is limited. Sure, the hotels are probably pulse, but they are built upon the view and little else. It’s like having a hotel with a nice view of a waterfall while you’re not allowed to explore the nearby forest. The moon fields they give you access to are small, walled off, and not much better than the simulations you can visit here on Earth…I mean Earth two.”

“So you’re saying it would be easy to hide something up there?”

“Oh for sure. As far as we’ve been told, only a quarter of the moon has been explored. We know what guk that is.”

“You really think no one else has suspected or seen anything?”

“I bet the Correction owns the entire moon industry. If they can mask the history of the world, owning a resort conglomerate doesn’t seem too difficult. I would bet the execs know that something is up, but keep themselves and anyone under them quiet for fair pay. It would be far from the only business to work that way. Nichley was proof enough. Anyone who sees what they shouldn’t dies an accidental death. They’re not unheard of on the moon. Get one of those conspiracy theorists who thinks oxygen is a government lie, he takes his helmet off on the moonfield, and there you go. Another accidental victim with a promising cover story.”

“You know?” I shook my head. “I don’t like how credible conspiracy theories are becoming.”

“Oh, there will always be conspiracies, but that doesn’t mean that freaks won’t come up with their own fictitious stories. As long as there are secrets, there will be those freaks who think they get it.”

“What about Akna only drinking milk?”

She scoffed. “After what you saw in the ocean, I wouldn’t discard the contaminated water theory just yet.” She paused, looked around, then said, “let’s go home.”

“How long do you think it’s been?”

“A few days, give or take. I’ve never been in for this long, but it’s not like years will have passed.”

“And once we’re out, our minds will just… recombine?”

“My outer-shef should have sent you a recalibration file by now. Once you use it, it’ll pull the data from inside here into your true mind to form a complete picture of what happened on both sides.”

“But if we leave… and he–I don’t, will we just lose everything? Will I just fade into nothingness?”

She smiled and shook her head. “Its not as nihilistic as you might expect. It’ll be fine. You ready? Yeah, I’m deciding for you. See you on the other side, Pet.”

Chapter twenty-six

Fatigue

Naoma held my hand on the skyride home. She had fallen asleep on my shoulder, so I tried not to move much as I looked at her. After the disaster that was the palace party, she still retained her flawless beauty. The broken-in look of imperfect makeup and tousled hair pulled her out of that pop idol visage, letting me see her once again for the girl she was beneath it all. She had a subtle smile. I hoped her dreams were a soothing distraction from this mess. We were enjoying a brief reprieve but knew it would soon expire.

It was hard to forget that with the homunculus staring at me from his cylindrical capsule of indigo-infused liquid. He watched me, connected to tubes and wires in his as he floated in the dense liquid. He had a small tube that reached down his throat for respiration and other life-sustaining needs, but he was just as conscious as I was. We had brought Zhou’s cybernetic body along with us in the trunk in case Ralia wanted to toy with it, but he directed us to his “resting capsule” after we told him that he would be joining us.

I smirked, feeling the savor of victory after so many wins at great costs. Yes, many had died–if that was what it was–during the boat race, but so many had survived. I tried to focus on them, rather than the itch of guilt that was sure to come.

A different itch came in to replace that feeling. Without thinking, I entered my neurospace, opened my fixes, and looked at my supply of socitabs. I was a twitch away from using one.

Boyband’s pleading held me back. Ralia hated it just as much and Abbas had shown me enough evidence to show the cognitive damage they dealt.

I was fine. Why did I need one? I was with Naoma, her hand in mine, yet that itch persisted. I wondered if it would wain.

I chose not to use one. It took all the will I had, but I had told myself that I wanted to change.

I resisted. It was pitiful to look back and see how often I had slipped when that was all that it took. A hunger for teeth hadn’t been healthy for my restraint, but that didn’t mean it was irreparable. The human tendency to confuse want with need had grown so commonplace in a world where everything was provided to those who had enough lumens. Even the poorest found ways to justify a fix over a meal.

I wasn’t going to be like them. I was different and had been given the world’s weight in responsibility. Against that, resisting an addiction was just another itch.