Page 3 of What I Needed

“Thanks for your patience. What do I need to do?”

“Ma, please. I just need you to come out here for a few days until I figure something out.”

“Son, I have a job, and your sister just started school. You can’t expect me to drop everything and come to you.”

“I’ve been telling you to quit and let me take care of you,” I reminded her.

“You’ve done and still do enough, Son. I enjoy my job, and I can keep an eye on your sister. Maybe I’ll quit when she graduates.”

My mother, Janis Westmore, was an administrative assistant in the main office of the high school that my sister attended. She truly did love her job, and when I signed my first multi-million-dollar contract ten years ago, I asked her to quit and move to California with me. She refused and hadn’t changed her tune.

She let me buy her a modest home in a better neighborhood and a nice car, but that was where she drew the line. I still slipped her money when I had a chance, and my sister always told me when they needed or wanted something, so it was a good compromise for now.

“That won’t help me now.”

“What I’m about to say won’t help you now, either, but you need to keep that little dick of yours in your pants.”

“Little? Ma, don’t play with me. I’m six-six, and ain’t nothing little about me.”

“Boy, shut up. If you would stop giving it away so freely, you wouldn’t find yourself in crazy situations. You need to try to figure out who her mother is, and if you can co-parent.”

“Nah, co-parenting ain’t an option no more. She left my daughter in front of my door with no way of contacting her. Why would I want to co-parent with her? If she can leave her like that, there’s no telling what else she might do.”

“Was that a little extreme? Of course, it was, but we don’t know her circumstances, so let’s not judge. At least she knew you were the father and left her with you, instead of on a street corner or worse.”

“You can make excuses for her all day long. If she ever shows her face, she’d better hope and pray I don’t strangle her ass.”

“River Westmore! Watch your damn mouth. Did you forget who you’re talking to? Don’t you ever threaten to put your hands on a woman, or I’ll fly out there and put my hands on you. I understand you’re stressed, but I’m not one of those little girls who be tripping over themselves trying to get your attention. Watch your language.”

“My bad, Ma. I start practice soon, and I can’t take her with me.”

“I’m sure you’ll figure something out by then. As soon as Rylee has a free weekend, we’ll come out and meet our granddaughter and niece. Let me see her again.”

I sighed as I moved the phone so that my mother could see Riverlynn’s face as I cradled her in my other arm.

“Hey, Nana’s baby. I hope your knucklehead daddy gets his life together. You are too precious to have a knucklehead as a father. Ain’t that right, pretty girl?”

“Ma, chill. I’m handling it, but some help would be nice.”

“We should get off the phone so you can focus on finding that help. Love you, Son. Kiss my baby for me.”

My mother’s face disappeared from the screen, and I tossed the phone to the side. I let my head fall onto the back of the couch and blew out a breath. I’d already reached out to the teammates I was closest to, but they were single as well, so they weren’t much help.

I called a few of the women I’d hooked up with on more than one occasion, and when I asked them if they could babysit until I found a permanent nanny, they cursed me out. It had been two weeks since Riverlynn was left at my door, and a week since it was confirmed that she was indeed my child.

In a matter of days, my life had changed drastically, and it felt like I was in it alone. I held my daughter in front of me and kissed her cheeks before laying her on my lap. Although she was chunky, she was still tiny compared to my big ass.

“I guess it’s just you and me for now, baby girl. You cool with that?”

She cooed her response before trying to pull my finger, which she was holding, into her mouth. Most of the time, she was pretty mellow, but she definitely did her share of crying. It still took me a minute to figure out what her cries meant.

Sometimes it was hunger, other times it was a wet diaper, and I was convinced that when it wasn’t either of those, she just wanted to hear her own voice. Had we still been staying at my condo, I was sure the other tenants would hear her cries because her little ass was loud.

The condo was where I took women to have sex, so whoever Riverlynn’s mother was had been there at least once. My house was off-limits to anyone who wasn’t family or close friends. We’d been here since the day she arrived, and my neighbors on either side were too far away to hear crying.

“You want to go for a ride?”

She looked at me inquisitively.