Page 10 of What I Needed

I took the handles of both her suitcases and pulled them along, while she followed close behind me. She’d been here a few times before to watch Riverlynn while I ran some errands, so she was familiar with everything. We stopped in her room to leave her luggage before heading to Riverlynn’s room.

“As I told you the last time you were here, I’m going to need a lot of help decorating her room. I don’t even know where to start.”

“I’m sure we can turn it into something Riverlynn will grow to love.”

“I didn’t plan on settling down and having children for at least five more years. I’ve never thought about what a nursery should look like. I feel unprepared as hell.”

“I mean, no disrespect, but you are unprepared. Anybody would be if they were in your situation. I love that you’re trying, though.”

“I appreciate that. I’ve ordered some stuff here and there as needed, including clothes, but I doubt I have a quarter of what she needs.”

“Okay. Last week, I started taking inventory of what you have. I’ll finish up today and place an order, if that’s okay with you. I know nothing about decorating, but I’m sure we can find someone who does.”

“I trust whatever decisions you make. Whatever you decide will be better than anything I could do.”

“Thank you, but we’re both in the learning stages.”

“True, but for some reason, I trust you. I’ll leave you to get settled while I check on Riverlynn and get ready for practice.”

“Okay.”

I went to my bedroom, feeling much better about my situation. My mother cursed me out for hiring an inexperienced stranger to watch my daughter, but I told her I had a good feeling about Erissa and to stop worrying. She’d been bugging me about meeting her over FaceTime, but I’d been avoiding it for fear of what my mother might say. The woman had no problem speaking her mind.

When I stepped out of my walk-in closet after getting dressed, I saw Riverlynn struggling to move her chunky little body in the center of my California king-sized bed. By the time I made it to her, she was already starting to fuss.

“Don’t start all that whining, baby girl. Give me a minute to get to you.”

I picked her up and sat on the side of my bed. Every time I looked at her, I questioned how her mother could have left her. Had she told me she was pregnant, once Riverlynn was proven to be mine, I wouldn’t have sent her away, expecting her to raise my child alone.

We could’ve come to an agreement that would’ve kept both of us in Riverlynn’s life. I’d been trying not to be angry and give her mother the benefit of the doubt, but not knowing her situation, I found it hard to curb my anger toward her, and I had no idea who she was.

“Daddy has a surprise for you.”

I cradled her in one arm while picking up my gym bag and putting it on the opposite shoulder. I headed to Erissa’s bedroom and knocked on the door.

“Come in,” she said.

I opened the door and found her sitting on the floor in front of her suitcase. She lifted her head and smiled when her eyes landed on Riverlynn.

“Glad to see you’re making yourself at home.”

“Thank you for being so welcoming. It looks like our little angel is awake.”

She stood with a few papers in hand and headed toward us. I got a whiff of her scent once she was in front of me, and I was tempted to bury my nose in her neck.

“She sure is. You know her morning nap is never very long.”

“It looks like you’re ready to head out. So I’ll take her, and you take these.”

I placed my daughter in her arms and took the papers. It was a copy of her driver’s license, CPR card, and a letter of reference.

“I told you none of this was necessary, but thank you.”

“I should’ve given them to you days ago. I want you to feel comfortable leaving her with me for long periods of time, and overnight. I promise I will take care of Riverlynn like she is my own, but can you do me a favor?”

“Of course.”

“Can you not be this trusting of anyone else? As much as I appreciate the good feelings you have about me, I could be insane. You have a daughter to worry about now. You can’t allow just anyone around her. Please be more selective in the future.”