Page 50 of Butterfly 6, Phase 1

“Hope you wasn’t paying him, because he taught you wrong,” Ethic stated. He came up behind her and moved her hands to the correct position. “You got these abs, you got to use them,” he said as he placed a hand on her stomach. “Tighten your core.” He put his other hand on the hinge of her waist, leaning Mara forward slightly.

“Now bend, keep the weight close to your shins, and when you feel the pull in the back of your legs, slowly come back up.”

Mara lowered the weight, and her ass pushed into Ethic. He took a step back, creating distance.

“That’s good. That bar’s too heavy for you, though. You’re sacrificing form for weight. Lower it down to about 60, and you’re good to go,” Ethic coached.

“Thanks,” Mara said.

“And fire that trainer,” Ethic teased as he headed for the door.

“Maybe I should now that I know what time you work out. I can happen to be here and get trained for free,” Mara suggested.

“Maybe,” Ethic chuckled. “I’ma head up.”

“Hey, I know this is awkward and I don’t mean to overstep, but I heard your argument with your wife last night,” Mara said timidly.

Ethic paused, doubling back, and facing Mara. His brow wrinkled in disapproval and surprise.

“It was a conversation not an argument. Were you spying on us?” he asked. No need to beat around the bush. He believed in being direct.

“No! Not at all. I promise. It just got kind of heated for a bit,” Mara replied uneasily. “I just wanted to let you know so that maybe you could keep it down next time. Your kids might overhear. They’re already so worried…”

Concern creased his brow further, causing him to glower. “They’re worried about what?”

“Well, she kind of lost it yesterday with them, and there were some tears,” Mara began.

“Come again? Lost it how?” Ethic asked. He had never seen Alani be anything less than loving with Bella and Eazy, so this came as shocking news to him.

“I don’t mean to report back, but it was pretty intense. She was asking them to explain something from her past that she couldn’t remember. They seemed hesitant, and it upset her. Those natural frustrations are common in patients with her injuries, but the kids were uncomfortable. I just don’t want them to be subjected to more yelling. They deserve to feel safe. That’s all.”

“And you’re saying they don’t feel safe,” Ethic shot back.

The hesitant look on her face made Ethic lighten his demeaner. “Speak freely, Mara.”

“I don’t think they do. Not with Alani,” Mara answered softly, like she was breaking hard news to him that she knew would hurt his feelings. And hurt his feelings it did. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“No, you’re good,” he replied. “I want to know these things. I just want to help her.” Ethic’s solemnity was palpable.

“I know you do,” Mara sympathized. “I don’t want her to mistrust me, though. It’s already so hard getting her to let me care for her. I don’t mean to betray her confidence, but she’s really having a hard time. There was another breakdown…”

“Another?” Ethic’s brow bent as he grabbed a towel from the cooling fridge and wiped the sweat from his neck and chest.

“I caught her searching through your room. She pulled out all the clothes, papers, and she was going through your pockets. I don’t know what she was looking for. Then she had this screaming fit. It was very strange. Bella and I cleaned up the mess, but those types of episodes are traumatic to children,” Mara said. “A huge part of recovery depends on her staying well mentally.”

“She’s fine,” Ethic said. “I’ll handle it.” He was short, suddenly serious, and worry infiltrated his entire being.

What was she searching for? He thought. He wanted to ask Mara more questions, but talking to her about his wife felt too much like betrayal, like they were gossiping behind her back.

“I’m here for you both,” Mara stated. “Whatever you need. I just thought you should know what’s happening in your home.”

Ethic nodded. “Appreciate it, Mara. I’ma finish up here.”

“I’ll get breakfast and her morning medication prepared,” Mara said. She walked off, but before she reached the stairs, she said, “If you’d like me to change the medication and include some antidepressants, I could do that for you.”

“She’ll be fine,” Ethic stated, his tone void of all tolerance because the thought ruined him.

Mara took the cue to leave, and when Ethic was alone, he sat on the weight bench, head bowed in distress. Alani’s behavior may have seemed erratic, but it wasn’t. Her soul was restless. Her nervous system was awakened and on high alert. She was protecting herself, subconsciously sniffing out his bullshit like only a woman could do. She’s not crazy, she’s unsettled, Ethic thought. For the first time in a very long time, Ethic felt helpless. He had no move to make. Nyair said to keep his secret. Nannie too. But if Ethic had learned anything in life, it was that the light would find its way into the dark every time, and when his truths shone forth, life as he knew it would be over.