Page 42 of Butterfly 6, Phase 1

“My son,” Ethic started. “Did he…”

“He didn’t raise his hand, but it sounds like he’s been curious about DJ’s motivations for cutting. Like maybe they even talked about it. I already know you’ll want private sessions for him but processing it here in group therapy would be helpful too. It shows them that they are not alone in what they’re going through,” Khadeen said.

“Whatever it takes to get my boy on track and take the pain out of his heart,” Ethic whispered definitively. “And you don’t got to donate your time. I’ll cover six months of sessions for the whole team.”

“Sounds good. Let me get back to the boys,” Khadeen said, walking back over to the team, who were focused on their letters.

Ethic sat through practice with a heavy heart as he watched Eazy’s every move. This parenthood thing was such an emotional endeavor. No matter how much he provided, or how much love he gave, the world always made an impact on his children in the most aggressive ways. There were threats everywhere. Even with all the money he had amassed, with the castle he had built to protect them, each of his children was still so susceptible to danger. It was terrifying, and it caused an ever-present ache to live with him. He just wanted the best for his family. He wanted his children to be safe. He wanted to surround them with security. He wanted them to be smart and equipped to use the education, money, and privilege he had given them to take over the world. He prayed they were prepared, that they would build whole, healthy lives. He hoped they found love and companionship in one trustworthy person, because he knew that all you needed was your other half for life to feel complete. He wanted them healthy. He wanted them to be mentally well. He wished healthy masculinity and leadership over his boy, and divine femininity and unapologetic power over his girls. So many obstacles from childhood to adulthood tested their family. This new discovery of self-harm, even if only the potential of it where Eazy was concerned, would haunt him. Morgan struggled with suicidal tendencies, and it was gut-wrenching to discover her so close to death. For Eazy to even think about it had Ethic sniffing away shameful tears in public. “Aww, man,” he sighed, bowing his head. He sat on his lonely bleacher at the top of the practice facility for two hours as he kept a watchful eye over his son. He was losing it as Eazy engaged with his team.

Ethic had his work cut out for him, but he would go to an early grave before he buried anyone around him.

Nyair came waltzing up the bleachers.

“God is in control, G. Eazy’s going to be just fine. If it weren’t for him speaking up about being made fun of, the whole team would have suffered in silence. That takes bravery, bro, and whether he raised his hand or not, we all have the awareness now that he needs extra support. He won’t slip through the cracks.”

“How can you be so sure? My attention can only be on one child at a time. Right now, at this very moment, Morgan needs me. When I’m with Mo, Bella needs me. When Bella has my focus, True is in need. Alani is rehabbing. I’m supposed to be at her side. I’m being pulled in five different directions. If I miss something with any of them, the consequence is severe. My boy, man,” Ethic said as he shook his head and focused back on Eazy.

“This is when you enlist your village. It’s not just you anymore. You know that, man. It’s a whole family that got your back, G. Me, Nannie, Daddy…”

“Mannn,” Ethic huffed his displeasure at the thought of needing anything from his father.

“He worries about you. He misses his grandkids. He talks to Bella every day,” Nyair said.

“Is that so?” Ethic asked. He knew Ezekiel kept up with his children, but he thought it was a birthday and holiday type of tap-in. Bella and Eazy would mention his calls from time to time, but Ethic had no clue they were speaking daily. “Hmm,” he hummed to himself. He couldn’t do shit but respect it. His father had gotten every aspect of fatherhood wrong with him, but if Ezekiel were trying to double down and make up for it with his grandchildren, Ethic wouldn’t protest.

“The village ain’t perfect, man, but you belong to it whether you like it or not. Use us,” Nyair stated. “That’s what family’s for.” Nyair saw that Ethic was processing silently, and he knew better than to push a conversation Ethic wasn’t ready for. The seed was planted for Ethic to water it when the time was right. “Let me get back to these kids, G. Dr. Brown is brilliant. Thank you for calling her in,” Nyair stated. He pulled a packet of paperwork out of the manila folder he held in his hands. “This is the banquet info. Make sure you give those to La. If she’s not up for attending, Zola would be happy to come to town for the night and escort Eazy.

Ethic nodded, but he wondered if Alani would be rehabbed enough to participate. He knew Eazy was depending on her, but she had just started walking, and what she was doing was barely that.

“We’ll play it by ear,” Ethic said, knowing that if he accepted Zola’s offer, Alani would be upset. He’d monitor her progress, and they would decide together when the time came. While Ethic and Nyair had grown extremely close, Ethic and Zola barely spoke. She didn’t live nearby, and they hadn’t grown up together, so it wasn’t instinctual for them to reach out to one another. Nyair and Zola’s entire existence and upbringing were triggers to his childhood abandonment, and although it wasn’t their fault, he hadn’t fully resolved his issues with Big Zeke. Nyair didn’t leave Ethic and the kids a choice; he was going to be around regardless, and Ethic was grateful for his persistence. Without it, they would have likely been distant. Ethic made a mental note to put in more effort with Zola. If anything, his children deserved to have these relationships. Sometimes the effort and the forgiveness were for the good of the next generation.

“Just let us know,” Nyair said. Ethic stood and pulled Nyair in for a solid hug before making his way down the bleachers. “Big Man! We out of here!” he shouted.

Eazy grabbed his things, dapped up some of his teammates, and then ran over to Ethic.

“Thanks, Dad,” Eazy said as they pushed out into the fresh air. The relief in his tone let Ethic know this had been burdening his son.

“Thanks?” Ethic responded.

“For fixing everything,” Eazy answered. Ethic rustled the top of Eazy’s head and pulled him under his armpit to kiss the top of his head. They walked to the car, and Ethic searched for the right words to say to his son.

Eazy sat in the backseat out of habit. He was the only one who could make a chauffeur out of such a powerful man. “Make sure you click that seatbelt, E,” Ethic stated as he pulled off. It wasn’t something most parents would double-check at Eazy’s age, but they had learned the hard way the consequences of not checking.

“How do you feel, Big Man? About Dr. Brown working with your team?” Ethic asked, not so casually.

“Good, I guess,” Eazy shot back.

Of course, he didn’t elaborate because kids never elaborated. Eazy was outgrowing the innocence he once possessed, when he would overshare. He was more cautious now. Ethic and Alani didn’t know every single thought that lived in his head, and it was scary. He had been through this two times before, but he would never get used to his babies growing up.

“I want you to know that you can come to me about anything, Eazy. I don’t care if it’s embarrassing, if you think I’ll be mad, if you’re afraid of getting in trouble, or even if you think I won’t understand. When you’re feeling alone, I want you to know without a second of doubt that I will walk with you into any battle. Daddy will rescue you out of any fire. That will look different as you grow up. The problems will change, but your support never will. I will never judge you. I will never be mad at you. You don’t have to pretend to have it all figured out. You don’t have to pretend to be tougher than you feel. If you need help for any reason, you come home. Even if you don’t need help. If you just need to know that you’re safe and you can be yourself…that you can breathe, you come home. Do you understand?”

“Yes, sir,” Eazy answered.

Ethic looked at him in his rearview mirror, and he pulled the car over into a parking lot.

He got out of the car and opened the back door. Eazy’s brow bent in confusion.

“Dad, why are we stopping here?” he asked.