Page 149 of Carry Me Home

Silence on the line.

‘Okay,’ Jude says finally.

‘Thank you.’

‘Be gentle with her, yeah? She’s—’ He stops. ‘Just be gentle.’

‘I will.’

Sea Salt Bay appears around the headland at half past nine.

The village is awake. Boats in the harbour. Dot unlocking her shop. Bill setting up the fish shack. Normal life, carrying on, indifferent to the fact that everything I care about is falling apart behind a set of lavender shutters.

The café is closed. Shutters down. No fairy lights.

I park at the top of the harbour. Get out. My legs nearly buckle – eleven hours of driving, no sleep, the adrenaline finally hitting its wall.

Brynn meets me at the café door, bleary eyed. I’m guessing she’s been up all night too.

‘She’s upstairs.’ Her voice is flat. ‘She hasn’t slept. She won’t eat. She keeps saying she was stupid to believe any of it was real.’

‘It is real.’

‘I know that. You know that.’ Brynn holds my gaze. ‘She saw what she saw, Tom. You can’t unsee something. You can only replace it with a better truth. So whatever you say up there – make sure it’s better than what’s playing on a loop in her head.’

She steps aside.

I climb the stairs. Each step feels like wading through water. My heart is in my throat, in my ears, in the hands I can’t keep steady.

The door to the flat is open. I step inside.

She looks up when I come in. Her face closes.

‘Go away.’

‘No.’

‘I don’t want to see you.’

‘I know.’

‘Then why are you here?’

‘Because what you saw wasn’t what you think.’

‘I know what I saw.’

‘You saw a hug. A goodbye. Cara was crying because I was leaving and I held her because that’s what you do when someone you care about is upset.’ I take one step into the room. ‘That’s all it was.’

‘You tucked her hair behind her ear.’ Nina’s voice is flat. Exhausted. ‘I watched you do it. Through the window. Like it was the most natural thing in the world. And I know it seems silly, just hair, just an ear … but…’ she trails off, her gaze not meeting mine.

‘It’s not silly, Nina, and I understand why you are so upset, but it was a reflex. She was crying, her hands were full of tissue, her hair was in her face. I moved it. The way you’d move it for Brynn, or Isla, or anyone who was upset.’

‘I doubt she thought it was like that. You can’t compare them⁠—’

‘I’m not comparing. I’m telling you what it was.’ Another step. ‘Nina. I’ve driven through the night to stand in this room and tell you the truth. If you think I’d be willing to gamble what we found the other week, those moments between us, Nina, I’ve waited my whole life for those moments we shared. I meant every word I said to you. I love you, Nina.’

‘People lie.’