Page 29 of Knot Your Kismet

Cali blinks a few times but doesn’t say anything. Her hair cascades across her face like a sheer, dark curtain. I have no idea how much she heard, but with her bottom lip pouting out, I’m sure it was more than enough.

Scooping her closer, I pull up the blankets around us, cutting my brothers from sight. They both vacate my suite in seconds, choosing not to see this through. And of course, it’s always me cleaning up after them. I’ve always been the one to ensure Nolan gets the job done. I’m his second but also his equal, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I’m sorry. We didn’t mean to wake you up. Let’s go back to sleep for a bit longer.” I rub my hand along the length of her spine, coaxing her to stay flush against me. It’s taking everything in me to even think about giving her space. I know in this moment, she might demand it, though. I don’t know if what we were discussing might have ruined everything I tried to build with her.

“I heard everything,” Cali whispers, keeping her forehead on my shoulder. “I know it was wrong to pretend to sleep, but you guys don’t really keep me involved.”

“Because you shouldn’t have to worry about something that’s not your problem. We are respecting your wishes to the best of our ability. We want to ensure you have the life you want. And as much as I want it to be with me and Pack Kismet, I’m not going to force you. You made it clear that you want to return to Nevada. It’s just…it’s complicated. We only have our own finances, and it is nothing compared to what our father had.” I breathe in Cali’s delectable scent, wanting to drown myself in her incredible aroma. The sweet orange blossom and vanilla linger on my palate, and I press a kiss to her forehead. I’ll give her as much affection as possible until she denies me. I’m surprised she hasn’t already. I expect her to flutter away at any second just like the butterfly I’ve deemed her to be.

“Oh.” It’s all Cali says, her eyes staring off as she thinks over my words. I wish she would say more. I wish we could work through this together, but she remains so closed off despite how we’ve taken things to a level we can’t return from.

“We’ll get it figured out. We always do. My dad didn’t raise entitled, stupid assholes like many of the other alphas. He taught us well. We have the entire town on our side. Our pack will resist any sort of power shift.” I continue running my fingers over her back, her warm skin against mine like heaven. Like paradise and ecstasy rolled into one. I wish we could stay in this moment forever.

“I’m being so selfish,” Cali murmurs, her voice barely a whisper. It’s almost like she didn’t intend to speak the words out loud. “I just don’t want to be an omega.”

My brows furrow together. She said she didn’t want to be an omega, not that she didn’t want to be our omega.

“Why?” I ask, wanting to keep the conversation going because she has never let me in like this before. I’ve been dying to understand what’s going on in her head. I’ve been begging the universe to have her give me some answers and understanding.

“Look how the world treats me. Why would I want to be an omega? It was nothing like this back at the Omega Resort. I didn’t even know how awful alphas could be apart from my own father. I thought my mom had terrible luck with my dad. But then she met Henry, and I don’t know. I can’t see myself ever being like her. She was an amazing mother, and in doing so, she gave up so much. She didn’t even think twice about the arrangement with Henry as long as it meant I was away from Pack Costa. And now look at things. The world wants to send me back or have me take her place here with you. I just want the choice. I had already made a decision. We were planning it all. Why couldn’t the universe just wait a damn year? Things would have been different. I wish I wouldn’t have called her. I wish I wouldn’t have asked her to come to me. I wish she would’ve been a worse mother, because then she would still be here. She’d be alive. Henry would be alive, and none of us would be in this position.” Cali hides her face. Her tears burn my skin, trailing over my shoulder as she bares her soul to me. I have so many questions, except the last thing I want to do is to rip open more wounds. I don’t know exactly what she means by needing a year. All I know is that she blames herself.

“Cali, it’s not your fault. No one blames you, and you shouldn’t blame yourself. The car wreck was an accident. A very unfortunate accident. Please, believe me.” I try to turn her head so she can look in my eyes. She stays firm in her position, silently crying, her emotions cutting me open in the worst way. This isn’t how it should be. The night should have been fun and a way for us to really get time together. It was supposed to be my way of showing her how perfect we are for each other.

But now I see just how damaged everything is. Cali is broken, and I don’t know how to fix her or even if it’s possible. Pack Kismet is falling apart as well. Grief sneaks up on me, and I squeeze my eyes shut. I’ll not succumb to it. I’ll be strong. For Cali. For Pack Kismet.

“I’m sorry, Jensen. I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I think I need more sleep. You’re right. Hold me?” Cali presses harder against me, hugging me as if I’m the only thing keeping her from floating away.

“You never need to apologize, butterfly. I’m here for you. I’ll always be here for you.”

I’ll never leave her. I can’t leave her, even if she asks. Even if she chooses another path.

Cali is it for me. I just wish she could see it. This isn’t about power or wealth. It’s not about the legal trust or the pack. It’s about me and her. It’s about us. And that’s how it always should be.

18

Secrets

Calista

Cool air blows strands of my dark hair away from my neck as I slowly swing on the playset from the Kismet brothers’ childhood. I used to come out here to think during the short time I stayed here before getting shipped off.

It’s peaceful in the garden, surrounded by blooming roses in all colors of the rainbow. My favorites are the deep red ones that look almost black before they bloom open. There’s something about the striking contrast between the fuchsia and peach colors of the other bushes that I love. A trickling fountain sets the mood even more, and the tranquility of the water dripping is enough to help me focus on the open book in my hands.

My mom loved romance, and it’s been a while since I’ve read one. I need to keep my mind off of things. I know that a decision must be made soon, despite me not wanting to.

The miracle I’ve been hoping for isn’t coming. I feel that now. It might’ve been used up on my mom when she found Henry.

I flip a couple of pages without reading, just skimming over the words until I find something sexy. I don’t need to read about someone finding their love. I just want to read about someone having a good time. That way I can truly escape without thinking of bonding or marriage. It helps that the main character of the book is a beta.

“Lis, there you are. I’ve been looking for you. What are you doing out here?” Lucas smiles at me, shielding his eyes from the overhead sun.

I wave the book at him. “Distracting myself. I’m bored.”

“I didn’t know you enjoyed reading. What book is it?” Lucas takes it from my hands before I have a chance to protest. He glances at the page I was skimming, his eyebrow lifting. A breeze catches some strands of his sandy hair, sending them blowing around.

Pressing his lips together, he smirks, his handsome face lighting up. “Recreating the Eiffel Tower, huh?”

Heat burns my cheeks, and I snatch the book away. “Don’t judge. It’s better than those business books in the study.”