Page 21 of Knot Your Kismet

My body comes down from its high, his words smacking some sense into me. What if he thinks this is me finally agreeing to his arrangement?

“Please. Please don’t.” My voice trembles with my plea. “Don’t say anything. Just hold me.”

Nolan gives in, hugging me close. I don’t move beneath him. We lay together in silence for who knows how long. Time has stopped for me. I never want it to restart.

I’m afraid for life to go on.

13

Complicated

Calista

Itiptoe toward the panic room door. A nightmare woke me up from sleep, and I found myself still in Nolan’s arms. He remains sleeping softly, his naked body exposed because I carry the blanket since my dress lies caught under his muscular thigh.

I don’t want to wake him. He wants to talk, and I’m afraid of what he has to say.

I’m terrified I’ll let him down. I’m sure he thinks this moment of passion might have persuaded me to reconsider his offer. I know I would think the same if I were him. It’s why he didn’t resist. It’s why he let me lead the way.

I need time and space to think beyond the present. His pheromones don’t help my foggy mind either. It’s so tempting to return to bed and act like the world outside doesn’t exist.

“Calista, please don’t leave.” Nolan’s voice cuts through the silence, the use of my full name the only thing making me hesitate.

“But I know you want to talk, and I don’t. I’m sorry, Nolan. I shouldn’t have come in here in the first place.” I straighten my shoulders and continue to the exit, refusing to look at him.

A buzzing sound vibrates from the door, and I realize Nolan locks me in. I try to open the heavy door anyway, but it doesn’t budge.

“I can’t let you leave with any regrets. I don’t know if you’re aware, but we’re the perfect scent match. It’s nearly impossible to deny each other. If that weren’t the case, I’d have never suggested we marry to make all of our lives easier.” Nolan rustles behind me. I still don’t look at him. I’m afraid that if I do, everything he says will make sense to my stubborn mind.

“I’m used to life not being easy. And I don’t have any regrets. I just don’t want you to assume that because I fucked you, that I would suddenly want to bond.” I wiggle the door again. “Now, please let me go. I have things to do. Another date.” It’s a flat-out lie, but I’m hoping it’s enough to get him to realize that nothing is different. I’m still biding my time until I hear back from my lawyer.

“A date? With who? Why are you even wasting anyone’s time? You’re going to have another bad date.” Nolan’s shadow looms across the door in front of me. “Just stay here.”

“My dating life is none of your business.” I don’t argue about his other comments. It’s pointless.

His hand slaps the door in front of me, and I turn around and lock my eyes with his, his body now caging me. “It is my business. It’s my job to protect you.” Leaning in, Nolan closes the space even more.

I swallow hard, licking my lips. His closeness sets off a wave of desire within me, and I imagine him lifting me up to wrap my legs around him. Shaking my head, I push the thought away and press my palm to his bare chest.

“Stop trying to use your order against me. This is why I don’t want a pack. I want to be able to think for myself without anything getting in the way. I can’t be your omega. I can’t.” I step closer, hoping he’ll step back, but he doesn’t budge and I find myself flush against him. His body hardens with his desire, and I release a soft moan at the sensation of his cock grazing me.

“I’m not using anything against you. You only feel like I am. Please, Calista. I just want to understand. This all can’t just be about your order. You can think for yourself. Our nature does not control us, and you know it. You’ve been in the city. You’ve been around eligible alphas for years. So don’t give me that crap. I want the truth.”

I consider being a brat and correcting him about my name, but something shifts in his eyes that I can’t decipher. “The truth is…” Standing up on my tiptoes, I press my lips to Nolan’s, wanting to use myself as a weapon. Because I don’t want to bare my soul to him. Not now. Not when I have already been exposed.

He gives in, kissing me harder, wrapping his arms around my waist until he lifts me up. Our tongues glide against each other’s, the warmth of him flooding through me, awakening pleasure to push away my annoyance.

“And you think I’m using my nature against you,” he murmurs, sliding his hand lower to squeeze my ass. “This kind of distraction can be dangerous. Addicting.”

I hate that he’s right.

“So let me go. I’m not having this conversation. Let me go or fuck me. Those are your two options, alpha.” I bite his lip between my teeth. “Make your decision.”

I brace for him to slide me onto his cock, but he surprises me by setting me back on my feet, the warmth vanishing.

“You can go, omega. It’s proof enough that this isn’t about our very nature. It’s about whatever is going on in that confusing head of yours.” Nolan presses his palm to the door, and I listen as the lock releases.

I exhale a long breath, my body humming and begging me to focus on Nolan.