Page 19 of Knot Your Kismet

“I’m sorry,” I repeat, easing away from her neck.

Our gazes meet, and she traps me in her stare, her eyes like the bluest pools in the universe, sparkling and hypnotizing. Eyes I want to drown in. I deserve to drown after what I’ve done.

Her lips part with her soft breath, and I can’t stop myself from looking at her pout.

And then I find my lips against hers, brushing so gently in my attempt to stop her from crying.

What am I doing?

What the hell am I doing?

Cali pulls away, her brilliant blue eyes wide.

I don’t get the chance to speak. I don’t get the chance to say anything. Scrambling to her feet, she rushes away.

There’s nothing I can do to stop her.

12

Alpha's Kiss

Calista

An alpha’s kiss has no right trying to undo me. It’s been days since I’ve seen Nolan, but I don’t know what I was expecting. He kissed me. He kissed me and then let me run away. Now he’s avoiding me.

This isn’t how alphas usually act. In that moment, he should’ve chased me down when I was lost in my panic. Even though I ran, he abandoned me. I should be upset. I should be a lot of things. Except right now, all I am is confused. I enjoyed the kiss far too much. I haven’t stopped thinking about the fiery attraction exploding between us. He might have leaned in first, but I devoured his affection and kissed him back. This is wrong on so many levels. I just wish that my body agreed.

I don’t want an alpha. I don’t want to need a pack. All I want is to proceed with my plans without any further interruption.

It might not be what is best for everyone, but it is what’s best for me.

Now I need to tell Nolan that. I don’t want him to start overthinking everything just because we kissed.

He can’t hide from me.

Storming from my bedroom, I rush to the stairs and charge my way down to the main floor where Henry’s study is. I don’t think Nolan has even bothered to go to one of the bedrooms. He’s been supposedly working night and day on getting the estate in order. Not that he can do much before he finds an omega that isn’t me.

The more I think about Nolan’s avoidance, the more frustrated I get. It’s obvious I can’t just ignore things. He pissed me off and then kissed me. Who does that?

Not someone trying to win me over. He really thought that I would just agree to bonding. Now I need to make it clear that he can’t do shit like this.

Without knocking, I thrust open the study door and stand in the empty office. I glance around at the pile of paperwork on the desk, some empty glasses and a plate, but there are no other signs of Nolan.

He might be asleep somewhere that is not the desk. I consider for all of a second about turning around and walking out, but my curiosity gets the best of me. I click the door closed and turn the lock. This is my chance to look over things for myself.

Strolling to the desk, I run my fingers over the stack of papers full of legal jargon that I can’t really decipher. I’d have to pull out a dictionary to get through even half of it.

Maybe there’s something on the computer. I never did get to see the terms of the living trust.

I go to wiggle the mouse to wake up the computer. A security feed pops up on the screen, showing the living areas of the estate along with outside the property. One of the screens displays what looks like a panic room, and it triggers a memory. It’s one of the first things Henry showed me upon our arrival. He said I was to go there if I ever felt scared or in danger. He gave me my own passcode and everything. It was simply my birthday. I wonder if things have been changed since I left.

I walk across the room into the built-in bookcase and lift up the lid of a box made to look like a book. It’s on a low shelf and easy for me to punch in the numbers one, zero, three, one. The lever slides down, showing the access to the panic room. I pull the bookcase out and stare at the palm pad. If my passcode still works, I’m sure it’s set with my handprint.

I slap it to the screen and watch it light up, and the metal door slides into the wall, revealing the entryway to the panic room. I step in, and the door automatically closes behind me. A small loveseat and coffee table sit in the small untouched room. An arched doorway leads into the sleeping area which also includes a kitchenette and bathroom. It’s set up like a studio apartment, mostly intended just for my mom and Henry.

A strange noise breaks through the silence, and I narrow my eyes at the arched entryway.

Nolan hasn’t been sleeping at the desk this whole time. He’s been living in this panic room. No wonder he hasn’t chosen a bedroom. I bet this is his way of shutting the world out. But he can’t shut me out. Not after the damn kiss. And I’m going to tell him as much.