Page 61 of Schooling Little Sage

“I’d like that,” Devon wrapped his arm around me. “Think he will?”

“He will.” Daddy kissed the tops of our heads as he passed by the couch.

He gathered up my toys, and we pretended not to notice. But this was hurting my heart so badly. I wanted to go home but not without Devon.

Stupid heart. Stupid feelings.

Maybe something really was wrong with me.

When it came time to go to bed, no one said a word. We each showered, then Daddy laid down first in the middle of Devon’s bed. Devon and I each took a side and Daddy wrapped an arm around us.

“Merry Christmas, sweet boys.”

“Merry Christmas, Daddy.”

Pretty sure none of us slept…

Saying goodbye to Devon was so hard, everyone was crying—Daddy included. Devon dropped us off curbside and I didn’t want to let go. We held each other while Daddy unloaded the car and did the check in. Daddy joined our hug and thanked Devon for everything he’d done. This was both the best and worst trip ever.

Why was this goodbye so different from the ones with my parents? I was sad when they left me, but I never cried. This time it felt like my heart was being ripped out.

Devon watched us go inside, waving until we couldn’t see him anymore. Neither Daddy nor I said much; he was pretty sad too.

If leaving Devon made us both sad, why were we doing it?

I didn’t have any answers and wasn’t sure I wanted to ask the questions that could lead to me losing everything. Living without Daddy wasn’t an option, but living without Devon was gonna be equally as hard.

Was coming here a mistake? Was it gonna cause problems between me and Daddy?

Crying was about all I could manage. Daddy kept his arms around me and raised up the arm thingy on the plane once we were in the air so I could lay on his lap. I needed this right now. Needed to know Daddy still loved me. His soft touch massaged my curls and his whispers of how much he loved me helped. Finally, I calmed down enough that I fell asleep. Sure did make this flight easier than the one to Cali was.

But coming home just didn’t feel the same.

Chapter Eighteen

“Why is my Sage so sad?” Mom asked. We’d been here all of an hour and my sleepy boy curled up on the floor with JoJo and fell right to sleep.

“It was hard for him to leave Devon.” Hell, it was hard for me, but how could I explain that to my parents. They had a hard enough time with mine and Sage’s relationship though they adored him.

“I don’t think he’s the only one.”

Ever the observant mother. I swear, that woman never missed a thing.

“Maybe. We have a lot to talk about for sure once we get home.” Or during the long drive, if Sage was up for it.

I didn’t have the words yet. How does a Daddy explain to his boy that he loves him as much as ever but loves someone else too? I couldn’t risk their friendship over my issues.

“Don’t you break that boy’s heart.”

“Never, Mom. He’s my world.”

“Sounds like your world may require a bit of expanding, son.” Dad squeezed my shoulder as he walked past. “You were never one to do anything half-assed, but you’ve got yourself quite the dilemma.”

That was exactly what this was, a dilemma. Not an issue, my boys will never be that.

My boys.

Was it possible?