Page 43 of Last Mile

Even though what Peterson said was the truth, rage still boiled within me. It wasn’t as if the bureau had nine-to-five hours, and that meant that cases were decided on in the midnight hour just the same as they were in the light of day. Of course, when you lost an agent in the field, it often meant things were expedited.

“There’s still work to be done on the inside with the Raiders, especially after what happened tonight,” I countered.

“While I might agree, there is no way to get another agent trained and inside, least of all to find one who could gain the Raiders’ trust like Gavin.”

“I’m on the inside.”

Peterson’s eyes widened before he ran his hand over his five o’clock shadow. “Look, you’ve been through a devastating trauma tonight. There’s no reason why we need to be discussing this now.

Take a week or two off to get your head on straight. Go back to Massachusetts with Gavin’s parents for the funeral.”

I gave an angry shake of my head. “Don’t dismiss me as incapable of taking down the Raiders just because I don’t have a dick.”

A low growl came from Peterson. “You need to step back, get your head out of your ass, and really think for a moment.”

“I am thinking. I’m wondering how you and the bureau can let all of Gavin’s hard work for the last two months go to waste when I can do this.”

“Pardon me for saying that it’s not us who is dismissing you for not having a dick; it would be the Raiders. You won’t get shit from any of them, even Bishop. You weren’t some patched member’s old lady. You were just a hang- around’s girlfriend. It’s a big fucking difference.” When I started to argue, he held up his hand. “Don’t think for a minute we would risk your life for what information it might bring. Especially not after losing Gavin.”

I controlled the volatile anger pulsing through me by sucking in a few deep breaths and exhaling them. Peterson eyed me as if he knew I was doing everything within my power not to go off on him. When I was finally able to speak again without losing my shit, I said, “I know Bishop better than you do— he will talk to me. It can still work.”

Peterson shook his head. “It doesn’t matter, Vargas. The case is closed.”

“You’re the lead agent. You could reopen it.”

“How quickly you forget that we all answer to somebody. The higher- ups would have my ass if I tried to reopen the case by sending you in.”

With my anger rising again, I flicked the empty coffee cup with the back of my hand. It went sailing over the edge of the table. After it landed in the floor, I looked Peterson in the eye again. “I won’t give this up. I can’t. I have to find justice for Gavin.” When Peterson opened his mouth to argue, I shook my head. “It’s not just about Gavin. This case with the Raiders isn’t so black- and- white anymore. They were attacked today after an important meeting this morning. I have to find out the truth.”

Crossing his arms over his chest, Peterson sighed. “You’re a grown woman with your own mind, and after living with my wife and two daughters, I know I can’t tell you what to do. But hear me when I say that whatever craziness you have running through your mind right now isn’t going to work. No matter how much you want to honor Gavin’s life, you won’t do it if you end up blowing your career, or worse, if you end up dead.”

“What I do off the record is of no concern to the bureau,” I countered.

“It is if it interferes with a mission.”

“The case is closed— you said so yourself.”

“No, the undercover aspect is closed. We will still be monitoring and collecting evidence on the Raiders.” Peterson leaned forward to place his hand on my shoulder. “Once again, I have to ask you to forget whatever plans you’re concocting in your head. You have a bright future at the ATF, Vargas. I want to be able to promote you in a year or two. The last thing I want to do is stand beside you as you clean out your desk because you’ve been fired.”

He grimaced painfully. “Or worse, to stand beside your casket.”

With a roll of my eyes, I demanded, “How many times are you going to give me the fired-or-dead scenario?”

“As many as it takes to get it through your thick skull,” Peterson growled.

I had opened my mouth to argue some more when the door opened. An agent I’d never seen before poked his head in. “The McTavishes’ flight is about thirty minutes out. We have a car waiting to take you to meet them.”

“Thank you, Agent Sunderland.”

After nodding, Agent Sunderland closed the door.

“Would you like to come with me?”

The thought of seeing Gavin’s grief- stricken parents was the last thing I wanted to do. On the other hand, my only other option was to sit alone in the room with my thoughts. With a humorless smile, I asked, “You got anything left in that flask to help fortify me for the trip?”

“If I don’t, we can make a pit stop.”

My eyebrows rose in surprise. “What would the bureau think about that one?”