Page 20 of Croc Food

It was one thing to tune them out and focus on work. But now after my colossal fuck-up? Hearing any of it made me want to puke.

To my astonishment, Zach was there in front of me, cradling an extremely tiny yappy little poodle and holding a sign that said A WOMAN’S PLACE IS IN THE SENATE.

“What the fuck are you doing here, punk?” I hissed, and he whirled around to display this dog absolutely cut and pampered to the nines. It looked like a tiny little ice cream sundae.

“What do you think I’m doing, bro? Talking about the real need for women’s liberation around here.”

“Since when do you even have a dog?”

“Since today. She’s a purebred toy poodle.”

“My husband doesn’t believe in women’s liberation,” Bitsy said in her sweet voice. “So I’ll have to ask for permission to talk to you.”

And, to my horror, she winked at Zach.

What the hell?

“He’s a brute and a savage,” Zach said. “I and my extremely cute dog will have to be in here a lot.”

“I’m afraid I can’t cheat on my husband,” Bitsy said. “Much as I might want to. I’m just too good of a little wifey for that.”

“Get the hell out of here,” I hissed to Zach, but he only smirked at me. Angrily, I grabbed this douche by the collar and dragged him outside, shutting the door firmly behind him.

“Man, I heard you split with Bitsy,” he protested, banging on the window as he and the dog both glared at me.

“NO! We’re never splitting up!”

“Bitsy, you’ve—you’ve got the wrong idea about me,” I whispered urgently at her. “You know that shit is not me. It’s just work shit!”

“I thought I knew you,” said Bitsy, suddenly in a very frosty voice. “Apparently I don’t, because the man I know would never have asked me to be small just to please your boss. Why the hell are you working here anyway, if he’s so horrible?”

“I—” I floundered. “Well, you know I don’t agree with him!”

She shrugged and turned back to where she was stacking up a pile of diner menus.

“Sounds like you don’t actually care that much.”

“Baby, please. Want to go get a coffee?”

My stomach was wracked with anxiety and nerves. How could I fix this? How could I get my wife back?

“No, thank you, Chadley. Maybe another time. I’m very busy right now.”

Since there were exactly two old men here, this was obvious bullshit, but I had no option but to go, unless I wanted to chain myself to the table.

There was a little smirk on Zach’s face as I walked out the door that I wanted to punch off his smug mug.

“What the hell was that all about?” I demanded when we were back in the elevator.

“What do you mean? Why wouldn’t I patronize this lovely diner that’s right in the same building?”

“Find another diner,” I said between gritted teeth. “Stop going around talking about women’s rights to Bitsy.”

“No, man, I don’t think I will.”

“Is that even your dog?”

“Nah, it’s my sister’s. But it’s a real chick magnet.”