Page 141 of The Cannibal

“If I move you from this room, they’ll have my head.”

“Because of Silas, they already do,” I said plainly. “Do you trust me?”

He smoothed his hand over his face, struggling with the decision. My fear was that he was giving up, on all of us and himself. But I still saw a shining speck of light, a way out.

“You’ll have to be quick.” He was stern. “I don’t know when, but I will try tonight. Maybe the next. You need to let me handle the arrangements completely, you understand me?”

“Anything that gets me back in the lab,” I said quickly. “Oh—and I will need ice.”

I spoke too quickly of my patience. Now that I was well again, my mind did not stop. Luka did not come that night. The entire day after, I wondered if he would come at all. I would give him until tonight before I became rambunctious.

They fed me blood, I do not know from whom. I assumed it would be from Luka, since no other soul would dare look at me, much less volunteer their blood.

My only belongings were a metal goblet and the small, dingy ring box on my side table. I was not allowed glass or even a corset while unsupervised. They kept me in the same stained nightgown. I thought it was a bit unfair, casting such an impression during what was supposed to be a fair trial. I asked to be redressed, but they did not offer any such thing for now.

There were no visitors aside from Amelia when she brought me food.

The worst part is that I couldn’t even be angry at the lot of them. It was deemed dangerous to be near me. Silas deserved his space away after what I had done. Luka was kind enough to even entertain my wild idea. Mary may have her reservations, but Rebecca had lost her faith in me long ago, that much was clear.

I had no desire to sleep. Too much rest lately, my body and mind were too awake. I pulled the chain as far as I could, but still couldn’t reach the window. I brought a pillow to sit on the floor. The moon shone bright in the sky. I was close enough that I was bathed in the light, for a couple hours at the least. The wind teased my skin, knowing I couldn’t even reach the windowsill.

That great big pearl in the sky would soon disappear behind the neighboring buildings, and I would be alone again once more.

Footsteps rustled down the hall. More than one pair, if I was hearing correctly. There was a series of harsh whispers outside my door. At first my heart fluttered, but a small skip reminded me that there are more people in this home, not all of them friends.

Shadows moved from behind the door, shifting as the whispers continued back and forth. Deals being struck on my life that I had no say in.

The verdict came with an open door, and Luka stepped through.

The relief escaped me as I stood from the floor.

Mary appeared behind him, with the watchful eyes of Sidney outside the door.

I could weep. There weren’t many good reasons to trust me at this moment, I barely trusted myself. But my gut was screaming that something was wrong, I wondered if they felt it too.

Luka came to me, the keys chiming in his hand as he knelt down to unlock the chain. To my surprise, he unlocked the shackles on my wrists, ankles, and neck too, placing them silently on the floor.

The only rules of the night were to be silent, be quick, and be smart.

The covered body on the slab was like a ghost under the moon from the skylight. The room smelled entirely of alcohol.

“She’s been thawing for an hour,” Luka said, as he closed the door, Sidney standing guard outside, and Mary acting as my assistant. “Luckily she wasn’t completely frozen.”

I immediately went to the cabinets, pulling a flask, a burner, tubes, and stoppers. I had to remember how I did it before, back when I was apprenticing under Henry. The metal bowl of ice sat on the edge of the workbench. I stuck five clean glass microscope slides into the ice as I built my test.

I placed the burner on an elevated stand and shoved the tube through the stopper, making joints and bends before clipping it to a retort stand, the end of the tube positioned above what would be the flame.

With the mechanisms ready, I was prepared for the most difficult step.

I took a scalpel from the drawer and some clamps.

“What are you doing?” Mary whined in horror.

“I will need you to clamp the skin layers as I open them.” I handed her the clamps.

I stepped over to the form, the ghostly sheet only alluding to the body below.

Luka stood at the end, sending me a look. It was as if he was asking are you sure about this? I shook my head. Nothing was promised. But if I didn’t try, I would never forgive myself.