Page 43 of All Our Nevers

“No, not every thought. Just the ones about my brother’s bachelor party.” That genuine anger is back in his eyes. The fuck is wrong with this guy?

“Here’s a thought about your brother’s bachelor party,” I say, “piss off.”

“Really mature. You know, you insist on controlling absolutely everything except your attitude.”

“You know what they say, if you want something done right you have to do it yourself.”

“Really, Amelia?” His hands are splayed wide, shoulders leaning towards me. “I am trying my absolute best over here, and you’re determined to frame me as a horrible guy. Can’t you see that I’m trying? I wanted to do this for him.”

“Believe it or not, you didn’t cross my mind.”

“Well, I should have. You should have thought about the only other person coming to this event. The person planning it with you.”

I shift back an inch, eyes narrowing. “Owen, are you fucking with me?”

He looks me dead in the eyes as he says, “I don’t like it, Amelia. I don’t like being excluded like that. It really… I don’t like it. I care about this.”

And damn. This game between us is only fun when he can give as well as he gets. I guess when it comes to his little brother, it’s not a game anymore.

With our shared goal of Andy and Sophie’s happiness in mind, I raise my hands in surrender. “Hey, okay. I was just giving you shit. I know you care. I didn’t think the game was that big of a deal.”

“Well, you should have,” he says again, then comes back to the counter, picks up three of the glasses, and marches back to the yard. He doesn’t look back.

I’m admittedly shaken. Not only to see Owen so openly vulnerable—when he’s never been anything short of battle-ready before—but to see him so vulnerable about this. This of all things, when he had such a cavalier attitude about his relationship with Andy for years.

Sure, over the last year he and Andy have been working on it. And fine, maybe the graduation thing wasn’t his fault. But still, Owen has been an actively absent family member for Andy for a long time. Not just oh they’re not close; more like I didn’t know Andy even had a brother for the first three years of our friendship.

He can’t just go from that to this... Can he?

No. He can’t. He’ll need to show it with actions, not just words.

But—I argue with myself as I pick up the remaining two water glasses and start walking towards the back door—I guess I didn’t give him a chance to show it with actions. Not as much as I should have, anyway.

Dammit. I may be mean, but I don’t want to be exclusionary.

With renewed determination to keep tonight positive for my best friends, I pursue the first idea that pops into my head.

“Hey guys,” I say as I return to the yard. “I just realized we’re gonna need a new group name, now that Owen is here.”

“What?” Owen asks, glaring at me like he’s not sure whether he’s the butt of a joke.

“Yeah,” I say, “there’s no O in NASA.”

“Oh my God,” Sophie yells, “you’re so right!”

“Oh no, really guys, that’s okay,” Owen stammers but it’s too late—the train is miles past the station with momentum to spare.

“Dude, that’s a great idea!” Nolan shouts. “Okay what acronym has N, A, A, S, and O?”

Andy squints up at the sky in contemplation. “Nothing?”

“NANOS?” Sophie suggests, then, “Wait, that’s not right.”

“What if you make me L instead of A?” I retake my seat on the bench next to my brother, then glance quickly at Owen. I offer him a small, unpracticed smile. One that’s trying to say I’m serious and I’m sorry and here’s your chance all at once.

Owen’s eyes dart to Andy, then back to me. He gives me the smallest of nods. My chest is warm, lighter, relieved to see the tension in his brow softening.

Meanwhile Nolan is brainstorming out loud. “SLOAN… ANOLS… LOANS? We could be LOANS?”