Page 82 of Derecho

“I’m really good, though. It’s supposed to be tough.”

That broke my heart. “Lainey. Enough. I haven’t pressed the issue because I know you’re trying to get your footing in motherhood, but I’m not going to sit around and let you put yourself last.”

Her eyes narrowed, and I thought for a minute as the silence stretched on. “Are you always this bossy?”

“Nope. There’s just something about the two of you that brings out the protective side in me.” I shrugged, worried that I’d just confessed something that really should have stayed locked away inside my heart. “Now eat.”

Lainey studied my face for another minute before she nodded, opening her mouth just enough to take one small bite of the sandwich.

I watched her blue eyes disappear behind her eyelids as the most incredible sound left her throat.

“God, Lach. What is in that?” Her mouth was still half full of food as she asked. “That’s the best sandwich I’ve ever had.”

“Gotta be a postpartum thing. Because it’s just a turkey on rye.” I laughed.

“It’s so good.”

“I’m glad you like it. Take another bite.” She did exactly as I instructed. “Good girl.”

The rush of color to her cheeks was a welcome sight. I shouldn’t have said it, but Lainey was just so fun to tease.

A few minutes later, Lainey fixed her shirt, bringing Reid up to her shoulder to burp him. She’d finished off her sandwich, and I’d even made sure to help her take a couple of sips of lemonade from her bottle.

“Hand him over,” I said, holding out my right arm. He now fit perfectly in the crook of my elbow, and even with my mind trying to tell me constantly that I would drop him, I’d actually gotten really good at getting around with my cane while holding him.

“Don’t take him downstairs, okay? Just…to your room for a bit?”

I nodded. Lainey had a thing about avoiding the stairs. I’d seen her stalling around them before, and I got it. My mind hated the stairs, too.

“You got it. We’ll just be hanging out in my room. Sleep, and I’ll only bring him back if I run out of my bag of tricks.”

“Thank you.” She yawned, finally placing Reid into my arm and then rolling down onto the pillows. I watched her body relax, and when I heard her breathing even out and slow down, I brushed some of her hair back from her face.

“Your mama is doing such a good job,” I whispered to Reid as I walked out of the room. “We just have to figure out a way to make sure she knows it.”

Lainey

Reid was growing like a weed. The changes Dolly had noticed were things I now saw, too. His hair was getting longer, and I’d had to trim his nails. But our days…and our nights…hadn’t gotten any easier. Thankfully, there were no more family members dropping in unexpectedly. But when they did stop by, more often than not, I kept a hold of Reid, and they didn’t complain.

Except for Hayes. He really loved getting to hold Reid, and I had a hard time saying no to him. Lach absolutely didn’t, so his visits usually ended with Lachlan holding the baby and Hayes pouting.

“I think he’s going to start rolling soon. Lainey! Oh my God, look! He’s going to roll right now!” Lachlan cheered so loud, I was pretty sure the whole ranch could hear.

Yes, we were outside. He’d insisted we take Reid on a walk around the property, and he’d even packed a little picnic for us to enjoy. Which is what we were doing now. Well, Reid was doing his tummy time, and teetering on his side. I was hovering nervously with my hands out while Lachlan was smiling like he was coaching an Olympian.

“I wish I didn’t leave my phone at home.” I sighed.

“Oh shit. Yeah. Good thinking!” He pulled his phone from his back pocket and fumbled around for a second. “Okay, Reid. You ready to roll over?”

He grunted, his arms flapping by his side as he rolled his head, teetering more on his side for another three seconds before he kicked his leg and flopped over to his back.

“Oh my God, Lain! He did it! You did it, buddy!” Lachlan tickled his belly, getting lots of kicks from Reid. “He’s a genius! An athlete! Can I send the video in the family chat? I think he’s the earliest roller we’ve had!”

Lachlan was acting like a proud dad. And I hadn’t felt anywhere near the level of excitement that he did at Reid’s milestone. Would anyone care to see the video? Shouldn’t I be thinking about sharing things like that? Shouldn’t I be wanting to show Reid off?

I know Lachlan noticed the shift in me. How I’d withdrawn after he’d sent the video to his family. But I couldn’t stop thinking about why I couldn’t feel anything other than pity at how completely drained I was. Emotionally. Physically. Mentally. I felt like someone who was watching her life pass by from outside the window.

“What’s going on, Lainey? You’ve been really quiet since we packed up.” Lach asked as we walked back toward the house.