Page 7 of The Treasure House

“Eleven seems like the new thirteen,” Suni said, patting my arm.

“Are all of them like this, or just mine?”

“Yours is just a little smarter than most.”

I sank back into the couch. Suni reached out and pushed my bangs off my forehead.

“I know it’s crazy,” I said, “but I could get a house.” I looked around the apartment. “Except for your house, and a couple of brief stints in foster care, I’ve lived in places like this my whole life.”

“I know,” Suni said softly.

“I’m so tired of it.”

She nodded and sagged back into the couch beside me.

I bit my lip. “I have enough for a down payment.”

“Ah.” She packed a lot into that one syllable.

“I was wondering…”

“About a loan?” she finished for me, giving me a sideways look.

“Yeah.” I searched her face. “I mean… only if…”

“Of course,” she interrupted my babbling. “You know we will.” She reached out and took my hand and gave it a squeeze.

“Wayne will think it’s crazy,” I said nervously.

She laughed. “Wayne is a man who has lived in two houses his whole life: his mother’s and then ours.” She squeezed my hand again. It felt good, but it also made me want to cry. “You know what’s crazy?” she said. “A hardworking woman not being able to afford somewhere better than this to live.” She gave me an encouraging smile. “Show me the houses you’re thinking about?”

“I haven’t got any specific ones yet. I’ve just been scrolling. And, you know, thinking…”

“And wishing and hoping?”

“Yeah.” I squeezed her hand back. Hard. “I’m scared nothing will ever change if I don’t do something about it now,” I said in a small voice.

Suni laughed. “Oh, Zoe, the only thing you can count on in life is change.”

“For the better, I mean. I’m scared nothing will ever change for the better.”

“Well. You came to us, didn’t you? That was a change for the better. Maybe this will be too.”

Yes. I had been sent to them, and things had certainly gotten better in lots of ways. But part of me had hated it. Part of me still hated it. Part of me was stuck in my childhood, waiting for Tina to come home.

“You really don’t think this is crazy?” It mattered to me what she thought. Suni and Wayne were the closest thing I had to family, aside from Flo.

“Depends on the house you pick.”

Wayne collected pizza and joined us in the apartment for dinner. We scrolled through treasure houses and drafted a list in three columns: wants, musts, and absolutely nots. Flo explained her position on the Dakotas.

“I guess that rules out West Virginia too,” Wayne said, unbuttoning the top button on his jeans so he could eat another slice of pizza.

“Oh, that reminds me!” Suni whispered to me, reaching for her bag. She pulled out an envelope and passed it to me under the table. It was postmarked West Virginia. From Hazelton FCI.

“It also rules out North and South Carolina,” Wayne added. “But where do you stand on New Mexico?”

I tucked Tina’s unopened letter into a book I’d left sitting on the counter. Flo still didn’t know about her grandmother. Later, when she was brushing her teeth, I’d slip the letter into my underwear drawer, where it could nest with the other letters until I had enough time and privacy to read it in peace.