Page 112 of The Treasure House

“I didn’t know how to have that conversation with a little kid,” I said, keeping my voice even. “It wasn’t that I was ashamed.” Although I was.

“Listen,” Suni stepped into the fray, trying a placating smile. “It’s late, and it’s Christmas—”

“And who’s this?” Tina asked, eyes narrowing.

“You know who this is,” I said, exasperated. “Suni used to bring me to my visits, remember? She’s my foster mother.”

Tina turned cold. “I’m your mother, Angel.” She was brittle with hurt.

I felt the old acid disloyalty I used to feel when I was younger and caught myself enjoying Suni’s affection. I knew Tina got jealous. Not jealous enough to clean herself up and come get me, but jealous enough to make me feel awful about liking Suni.

Jake and Tate emerged from the back of the house, providing a welcome distraction. “I was just talking to Tate,” Jake said, ushering the man ahead of him, in the direction of the front door. “I’ve got a cousin who runs a motel just up by Rockport—only ten minutes up the road. I can pull some strings and get you a free room for the night. It’s a real nice place with a view of the ocean and they serve a mean breakfast, all included with the room. As you can see, we’ve got kind of a full house here, nowhere comfortable to sleep for a couple who’ve been on the road for more than twelve hours.”

Somehow, he managed to hustle them out with a steady stream of chatter.

“You know what?” he said. “You really ought to see Camden while you’re here, and I’ve got another cousin who runs a beautiful little bar, cozy, also with ocean views. You guys could have lunch there with Zoe tomorrow and talk things out. I’ll get my pickup and you can follow me to the motel, how’s that sound?”

He placated Tina with all his friendly talk and his promises of time with me tomorrow.

“I just wanted to give you a Christmas surprise, Angel,” Tina told me petulantly, as she was ushered out to Tate’s car.

“You certainly did that,” I admitted.

“Well, so did you.” Her gaze locked on Flo. She bent over again. “And I’ll see you tomorrow, Baby Angel. Your Grandma Tina can’t wait to get to know you!”

“Well, you sure have some explaining to do,” Flo declared as soon as I’d closed the door and put the security chain on.

“All right, everyone else to bed,” Suni declared, clapping her hands. “Let’s give these two some privacy.” She took the kitten out of Flo’s arms. “I’ll settle these little ones.” She kissed Flo on the forehead, then she gave me a sympathetic look and kissed me too.

“Jake left Hazel behind,” I said numbly, as I heard her whine in the parlor.

“He’ll come back for her, I guess, after he deals with… my grandmother.” Flo fixed me with a disbelieving stare. “I mean, what the fuck, Mom?”

“Florence! Language!”

“She said I looked like an old English lady!”

“No,” I corrected her, as a slightly hysterical giggle escaped me. “She said your name sounded like the name of an old English lady.”

Hazel whined again.

“A junkie is a drug addict,” Flo said as we drifted into the parlor to soothe the puppy. Hazel strained on her leash, her dark eyes begging us to bring Jake back to her. Flo sat in the armchair and pulled the dog into her lap.

“Don’t say ‘junkie.’ ” I sighed, sinking down to sit on the floor at her feet, facing the fire, which was starting to die down to coals. “She has a disease called addiction.” The tree lights winked on and off. “It’s not her fault.” I felt a spurt of anger as I said the words. Part of me wanted to force Tina to take the blame. I wanted to rage at her and curse her and shame her and vent decades of poisonous anger. I wrestled with myself to find compassion, reminding myself I wanted Flo to learn kindness and understanding, not bitterness and judgment.

“Your mom was a drug addict,” Flo marveled. “Like on Law and Order.”

“Yes.”

“And she was in prison?”

“Yes.” I felt tears pricking.

“You can crash out now if you need to. I think this warrants it.” I felt her hand land on my head. She gave me a couple of pats. “Is that why you were with Suni and Wayne when you were a kid? Because your mom was in prison?”

I told her an abbreviated version, omitting the details which I knew she was too young for. Even though I lived with them when I was her age. Younger. And for a shocking moment as I looked at her I saw myself at her age, desperately needing a mother’s protection.

Flo’s pats turned to strokes. She ran her fingers through my hair.