Page 56 of Who The Hell Are You?

Me: Don’t you dare drive!

Cassie: Walking promise xoxo

As always at this time of year, the sun rapidly dips, making it the perfect shade of purple outside when I get a knock on my front door. Throwing myself at it, on my porch stands Cassie looking utterly gorgeous as always, smiling so wide, he pops two dimples out. His curls are wild and flop over one eye. On instinct I reach out and push it back, receiving a kiss on my wrist.

“Hi Miley. Ready for our last spooky date?”

I drink the rest of him in, laughing at his woolen flannel jacket, also in green. We’re matching without planning, but unlike me he looks like a wall of delicious muscle. Like a lumberjack, just without the beard. He has let a little stubble come through, which may be because I said I liked how it burnt when he rubbed his face against my jaw. It’d feel euphoric between my thighs too, but I’ve been on the path of not getting us excited, remember.

“You look so fucking sexy.” I blurt, laughing as he does too.

“Thank you. Does that mean you’ll let us go back to sucking dicks now?”

“Cassie! You devil child.” I throw myself into him and shut my front door, locking up quickly and steering him back down the garden path. “Miss Kaywood next door has a fragile heart! If she hears you speaking like that, she might drop.”

He belly laughs, nearly toppling over his own feet as I walk us onto the street. “God, you have the same humour as my mum. No wonder you both got on so well.”

I can’t tame my own smile. He knows how much I like both his parents.

The art gallery garden is right next to our university, so we head in the direction towards the city and he threads his fingers through mine. Briefly one night whilst we spooned he asked me about my past partners, and I gave him a vague retelling, but left a lot out that can be a little painful at times. I’ve dated some dickheads, but two really did a number on me. One was older and I didn’t realise I was a secret, another was closeted, not planning on coming out. I think he was actually in denial, so it’s no mystery to how much public displays of affection mean to me. Even just holding hands. Any chance Cass gets, he’s always giving me some form of contact. Sitting close, touching my arms, kissing, holding hands; it all makes me feel so special.

Squeezing his fingers, I hook both our hands into my jacket pocket to keep them warm. “This is really nice, holding hands. In public.”

He gives me an understanding smile, running his thumb up and down my finger where we’re attached. “Weirdly, I’ve never been into public displays of affection before. It used to make me feel really uncomfortable.”

I raise my eyebrows, a little shocked. “Cass, you know you’ve shown my physical affection outwardly from the day we met, right? Even before we were dating, you always touched me.”

He frowns, but in a way that I think means he’s thinking back to when we ran into each other outside the coffee house. After a moment of us walking in silence, he bursts out laughing. “God, I practically sat in your lap because there wasn’t any space. I thought it was just because I was cold after you spilt your drink on me, but you smelt so fucking good.”

My ears turn pink. “You liked me then?”

Whatever shade my ears are, his cheeks turn two shades darker. “Yeah, I did. At the time I didn’t realise, but now it’s so obvious. We just…”

“Clicked.” I finish for him, and he nods, pulling at my hand so I slow down enough for him to plant a kiss on my jaw. I take full advantage, meeting his lips, enjoying the flood of bats that erupt in my chest as we melt together.

This is why I need to tell him. I’ve made up my mind. After tonight, I’m going to tell him I’m Yourghostboy, consequences be damned.

The outdoor screening event is amazing. Fully armed with burgers, loaded fries, nachos and sweet treats for after. I’m only waiting alone in the camping chairs set up by the event for a few minutes, until Cass returns with two beers in plastic clear cups.

“Should you have alcohol?” I have to be that guy, but I don’t want him to do anything to mess with his medication.

He shrugs, sitting down and placing the cups in our holders. “I’m only going to have one. If I start to feel sick, I’ll leave the rest and load up on the food.” I don’t want to be an overbearing boyfriend, but he must sense my unease about his logic, because he gives me a wet kiss, takes his food off my lap and throws a few chips covered in cheesy meat into his mouth. “How about I eat all the food first, so that the alcohol doesn’t really do anything?”

“Deal and just one. We’ll go on to hot chocolate or water after this.”

Chuckling, he agrees and we dig into the pile of food, just as the announcer yells across the green that they’re about to start the movie.

“Are you ready for me to subconsciously quote this entire movie?”

Popping a nacho into his mouth, Cass doesn’t even miss a beat. “Born ready baby.”

Noughties bangers play through the flashing headset we’re all wearing, Mariah Carey enchanting the entire silent disco. The four of us sing along, Harris cheering that Fantasy is his favourite song in the only outburst of emotion I've ever seen from him before. He's usually so stoic, but it might have something to do with how we basically caught him and Emery grinding on one another. They were both in a trance, already lost in each other.

I'd noticed them here before Cass did, and unlike him I was witness to what I strongly think was their first kiss. They'd just stared at one another afterwards, Ems lower half pressing into Harris and he wasn't met with resistance as he pushed back. That's when he'd noticed them, instantly weaving through the crowd. They'd sprung apart, and ever since Emery has kept worrying at his lip in-between dancing to the music. I can’t get a read on Harris. It's like what just conspired never happened.

The four of us grasp one another's shoulders and bounce around, wheezing and laughing until I decide that's too much exercise for Cass. Letting both my arms fall down, I move behind him and press our bodies together. My fingers trail over his hips, going under his jacket to palm at the bone where his waist dips. I feel the hum in his chest, his mouth still moving to the song and I sing in his neck even though we can't hear each other. The headphones are amazing and they all flash orange or purple, making for the perfect Halloween disco. There are so many people here dressed up as characters from the movie, which means next year we need to plan to come back, and go all out. I love this; being openly here with him. I run one hand over his chest, above his tshirt, slowing our dancing down till we're swaying. It's out of time, but I want him to catch his breath. His headaches have receded, but I'll never be too careful. Not when it comes to him.

We smile and laugh as Harris grabs other dancers to make a wider group and everyone belts out the chorus with him. Emery laughs, but he keeps catching my gaze, probably fully aware I saw the kiss. Cass isn't stupid he knows something is off with them both. He might not have seen it, but there was no hiding the intensity of the look they shared afterwards.