Page 96 of Shhh…It’s A Killer Story

Frank nodded solemnly.

"The pollen.”

"The dust."

"The bird that sneezed on me last Thursday."

I folded my arms.

"The bird did not sneeze on you."

"It absolutely did."

"It was a sparrow."

"It was disrespectful."

I laughed, picking them both up.

"Come on."

Gerald immediately began squirming in my hands.

"Seraphina... think about this."

"I am."

"No, properly."

"I have."

"What if..." he began carefully.

"We simply lower our hygiene standards?"

Frank nodded enthusiastically.

"I support this proposal."

"You two are impossible."

"I prefer 'vintage,'" Gerald corrected.

I carried them toward the sink. The moment they saw the brand-new toothbrush lying beside the bucket, both of them froze. Frank looked horrified.

"...Is that..."

"...new?" Gerald finished weakly.

"It is."

They stared at each other.

"Oh no," Frank whispered.

"The new one gets into the tiny cracks."

"It absolutely does."