Page 83 of All the Things We Never Knew

LAUREL

Joel and I said goodbye, with a promise to stay in touch and possibly meet the next time he was in London. But, instead of making my own way home, I found myself heading in the direction of Damask Square.

Although I was uncertain of the reception I’d get there, I felt the need to share what I’d learned with Anna. Gray had been hers long before I had known him. What Joel had told me was important for her to know and to share with her children, to help them understand their father better in the same way I now did.

If my dad had done something like that for a friend, how would I feel, I wondered. Pretty damn proud. But then, if it had contributed to his early death, pretty damn shit also. It was for Anna to decide how much she wanted to tell Lulu and Barney – if anything at all – and when.

For now, I’d tell her what I knew.

But when I tapped hesitantly on the door, it wasn’t Anna who opened it, but Lulu.

She blushed absolutely scarlet when she saw me. ‘Hi, Laurel.’

‘Hey, Lulu. How’s it going?’

‘I’ve been meaning to text you, but I didn’t know what to say. I feel really bad about not showing up when I said I would. I was…’

Now wasn’t the time to let her know her mother had already told me why she hadn’t turned up.

‘That’s okay,’ I reassured her. ‘Please don’t worry about it. We can do it another time. Is your mum around?’

She shook her head. ‘She’s out. But she said she’d be back this afternoon. Why don’t you come in? I made a cherry cake. It’s a bit flat but it tastes good.’

I realised I hadn’t had lunch. ‘That would be amazing. If you don’t mind?’

By way of an answer, she turned and led the way downstairs. The familiar kitchen was less tidy than usual – two empty wine bottles stood on the floor by the island, the sink was full of cloudy water and crumbs scattered the worktop. But the air was sweet with the fragrance of baking.

Lulu flicked the coffee machine on and set about making cappuccinos, cutting two slabs of cake and putting them on plates.

‘So, like I said,’ she mumbled a few minutes later, her mouth full, ‘I feel really bad. I messed up. I feel like I owe you an explanation.’

‘You don’t,’ I said, ‘but I’m happy for you to tell me, if you want.’

She nodded. ‘I was seeing this guy. Callum. Kind of behind Mum’s back. Well, totally behind Mum’s back, if I’m honest.’

‘Would she not want you to have boyfriends?’ I asked.

Lulu grimaced. ‘Not ones like Callum. He’s a bit older than me and he’s… well, he’s not the kind of person I usually hang out with. Mum wouldn’t like him. Dad wouldn’t have, either.’

‘But you did?’

She pushed cake crumbs around her plate with a fingertip. ‘I don’t even know if I did. He paid attention to me. He seemed like he liked me, and I guess I felt like I needed to be liked.’

‘I get that,’ I said. ‘After all, how are you to know who the right person for you is if you don’t try some wrong ones first?’

She laughed. ‘He was wrong. I get that. But he’s… I don’t know. I still check my phone the whole time in case it’s him. He blocked me, you see. After the night I was meant to be seeing you, when we…’

‘Oh no.’ Hearing the story from Anna had shocked me, but hearing it from Lulu was heartbreaking. ‘You poor thing. What a bastard. You don’t deserve to be treated like that, you know. You’re worth so much more.’

‘I know that, really. But I…’ The she fell silent, her head on one side and her eyes wide. ‘Fuck. Laurel. I think that’s his car.’

‘What?’ Through the windows at the front of the house, I could hear the roar of a dysfunctional engine and the squeal of tyres. Of course he drives like a dick if he treats women like one, I thought.

Lulu’s face was frozen. Together, we listened to the thump of a car door closing and, seconds later, the crash of the door knocker.

‘I can’t open it,’ she said. ‘I can’t see him.’

‘He doesn’t know we’re here. We could just hide and hope he goes away. Or I could answer the door.’