Page 30 of All the Things We Never Knew

So we did. As we were leaving the pub, he took my hand and led me to his car, opening the passenger door for me. I got in without a word; he drove away, and we found a lay-by and had sex in the back seat.

Maybe not so romantic after all.

I managed a half-laugh and Harry looked at me sympathetically. I could imagine the thought going through his mind: Shit. She’s not going to cry, is she?

Then he said, ‘Hold up. Looks like we’ve got a customer.’

A girl was approaching our stall. She was in her school uniform, like all the others, and, like almost all the girls, her tie was hanging loose round her neck, her skirt was rolled up to just below her bum cheeks and her hair fell in loose waves down her back. She was wearing the expression I’d always seen in teenage girls when they approached me in uniform: half deferential, half embarrassed, with a sprinkling of bravado as she tried to pretend the other two feelings weren’t there.

‘Good morning,’ Harry said chirpily. ‘How are you today?’

‘Are you interested in finding out more about a career in nursing?’ I asked.

The girl nodded. ‘I mean, kind of. My mum says I’d be signing up for a life of drudgery, low pay and cleaning up other people’s sick.’

There was something familiar about her – her dark eyes, her hesitant smile. I could have sworn I’d seen her before somewhere, but I couldn’t think where.

I laughed. ‘Well, there’s a bit of that. But the nurses’ union – the Royal College – has fought hard recently for better pay and conditions. You might have seen that on the news. And once your career starts to progress it becomes a bit different from what you might think. There are so many different specialisms.’

‘This QR code right here will take you to a link that tells you more about them,’ Harry said, handing her a leaflet.

‘What’s led you to think of going down this route?’ I asked.

‘I…’ she began hesitantly, ‘I’ve always liked helping people. And recently… I dunno. I suppose I’ve seen what it’s like when people really need to be helped.’

I smiled and she smiled back. The smile transformed her face – lighting it up in a way that made me smile even more.

‘That’s just the best start,’ I said. ‘The health service is crying out for people with your kind of mindset.’

‘We’re holding an open day at Princess Margaret’s Hospital over the summer,’ Harry said. ‘You should come along to that. Laurel and I will be there with loads of our colleagues, and you’ll be able to see more of what clinical work is like from the inside.’

‘I’d like that,’ she said.

‘And we have opportunities for work experience too,’ I added. ‘I know it’s not always easy, depending on your family background. But you need to remember that nursing is actually highly competitive, and like any degree course you’d need to put in the strongest application you can.’

The girl nodded. I could see something change in her face – almost an awakening.

‘I’m doing science, maths and biology at GCSE,’ she said. ‘And English too, obviously. I like studying. I’ll talk to my mum and’ – there was the slightest hesitation – ‘my dad, and come to the open day if I can.’

‘It would be lovely to see you there,’ I said. ‘My name’s Laurel Norton, by the way. Laurel with two Ls.’

I pointed to the badge on my chest and smiled again.

‘Nice to meet you, Laurel and’ – she peered at Harry’s name badge – ‘Harry. I’m Lulu Graham.’

Lulu Graham.

Oh my God. Of course. It was with Gray that I’d seen her face, on the wallpaper of his phone in a smiling photo with her brother and mother. There’d probably been photos of her up in the house as well, framed portraits on the wall or snapshots attached to the fridge, but I hadn’t noticed those – I was too wary of Anna to risk being caught noticing anything.

Gray had told me his children’s names and ages, and occasionally shared his pride in them and his worries about them – feisty Lulu, growing up too quickly for comfort; awkward Barney, who still hadn’t quite found his tribe. It had never crossed my mind that I would meet either of them – certainly not now, not here.

Harry pressed an assortment of leaflets on her, and she thanked us before turning to walk away, already studying them closely and scanning the QR code on her phone.

I heard Anna’s voice – her mother’s voice – as clearly as if she was speaking over my shoulder.

Stay the hell away from my children.

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