Page 57 of The Roommate Subtext

What was that? he replied. Doesn’t seem to be a good way to talk to me. Make it ten edges.

She groaned, even though there was no one around to hear her. Yes, sir.

Good girl.

Maybe he was pushing her too far. Blake leaned against the wall outside the grocery store and looked at Rose’s last few messages. She was clearly pushing his buttons, and he had shopping to do. But instead of shopping, he was standing here outside the store, messaging because he didn’t want to disappoint her, and also because the cold autumn air was the only thing keeping his erection at bay. Now he had a half hour before she asked to come again, and he’d never finish grocery shopping in that time. He really wanted to be in his bedroom with the door locked when he played with her again. But he had a hard time not replying when she reached out, even when he was in the middle of something else.

He was struggling to define this thing with Rose, which was moving away from impersonal kinky sex play and into the realm of somewhat personal kinky sex play mixed with friendship. He liked her. They had been talking basically every night lately. He wanted to meet her in person. The odds of her knowing or caring about his double life were slim, but he was reluctant to take the chance without really thinking it through.

But he wanted to trust her. And, most of all, he wanted to see if there was the potential for anything else between them, something beyond the sexting and ever-increasing friendly conversations.

He pushed his cart through the aisles, adding items, his brain still humming in the background. His list was organized by aisle and he barely had to think. This was the kind of mindless task he enjoyed, the kind that let him process his days, but god, right now he wanted to be back in the apartment typing filthy things to a woman he desperately wanted to meet.

In the checkout line, his phone buzzed in his pocket again. It had been thirty-one minutes.

Please sir, please may I come?

He smiled. She was so sweet when she was begging. He didn’t know if her voice was low and rough, or high-pitched and desperate. He had imagined it several ways. But he was in the grocery checkout line, and he was also feeling saucy.

How far are you willing to be pushed? he asked.

I don’t know.

He liked her honesty. I’m in the middle of something. I’ll message you back in a few minutes. Ride that edge and wait for me.

Yes, sir.

He could feel the desperation in her reply. He smiled and put his phone in his pocket. He was loading up groceries onto the conveyor belt here, and somewhere she was rubbing her clit and trying not to come, wet and needy and obeying him. No, he couldn’t think of that right now. He was in public.

He had the groceries loaded within five minutes, but he held off for another few moments. She must still be waiting.

If he were there with her, he would be able to tell how far to push her. He could learn her limitations and boundaries more easily. Doing all this through text was much harder.

Are you still being good? he asked.

Yes, sir, she replied after a moment. I’m falling apart.

He could be there, driving her wild. He could tie her to the bed and make her wait until he was through with her. Do you really want to come, Rose? Or do you want to stay like this all evening, desperate and horny?

A long pause. He took the opportunity to walk the block to the T station.

Fuck, why do you do this to me? she asked. I don’t know what I want. I can’t think.

If she couldn’t make good decisions right now, he needed to ease off. But he could still tease her. I might lose signal, he wrote. Wouldn’t it be a shame if I left you like this and you didn’t know when you’d hear from me again tonight?

No, please, she wrote back immediately. Please don’t do that.

I won’t, he wrote. You’ve been such a good girl. Come for me, sweetheart.

No reply while he went down to the T platform, no reply while he caught the next train. His signal blinked in and out and finally came back as the train resurfaced above ground. Her messages flooded in all at once.

Fuck, thank you, sir, that was incredible.

Oh, my god, I think I blacked out.

I might be dead. Is this death? I’m dead.

He smiled at that one.