Page 66 of Hairpin Curves

“So what? Maybe I do. Maybe I do like you. Maybe I thought you liked me, too.” Scarlett’s smile was gone, hurt and anger warring on her expression instead. “Maybe if you weren’t throwing me so many goddamned mixed signals, I’d know where you stood, too.”

“Mixed signals?” Megan took a step forward. “What are you talking about?”

“You cuddle with me, you have sex with me, you say it’s a bad idea, and then you have sex with me again? What am I supposed to do with that?” Scarlett started to pace.

Remembering those nights in the cabin made Megan’s face heat, and then her body, the hormones flooding through her even alongside the irritation. “You weren’t objecting.”

“Because I thought you wanted me.” Scarlett stopped pacing and folded her arms across her chest, like they might be armor to protect her. “I didn’t realize you were just using me to get your rocks off.”

Megan blinked, her stomach dropping. “I wasn’t doing that.”

“Are you sure? Because it feels a little bit like that from my end.” Scarlett took a step forward. “Yeah, I told you I fall in love with everybody, and that was a little bit of an exaggeration. You know who I have fallen in love with? You. I had such a crush on you in high school, and I was so ashamed of not being good enough for you, good enough for your perfect vision of yourself, that I ended our friendship. I thought on this trip, I might be able to connect with you again. Get back that friendship. Instead, though, I figured out that I’m in love with you. I can’t go to bed with you and have it mean nothing. Not with...not with you.” Scarlett’s voice trailed off, and she stood standing in front of Megan, her chest heaving, her face flush with emotion and eyes bright with anger and tears.

Megan’s emotions caught in her throat. She’d been terrified of these exact words, terrified that Scarlett would want something different than friendship, would get too attached and ask for more than Megan wanted to give. But she also couldn’t stand here and say it was meaningless. “It’s not nothing,” she said, her voice coming out strangled. “It didn’t mean nothing.”

“It was fun. That’s what you said, right? Fun.” Scarlett’s smile turned bitter. “I like when people see us together and think we’re together. I like being with you. But you don’t want me. You don’t know what you want, but you know it’s not me. I don’t know if it’s because I’m too loud, or too clingy, too something, or maybe I’m not enough. I’ve been terrified of being not enough for you. And now, I’m pouring my heart out here, and you’re just standing there. Like you don’t know what to do.”

“I don’t know what to do!” The words burst out of Megan like a dam breaking. “I’m scared, Scarlett! I’m scared of what my future holds, and of what I haven’t done with my life. And I’m scared to let my guard down and get hurt. I’m scared of failing, and I’m scared of being alone, and I’m scared of making the wrong decisions.” She was crying, damn it, tears welling up because she was an angry crier and a frustrated crier and her emotions were too much for her body to contain. “I asked that Salem witch woman for direction and clarity, and I’ve been burning this candle every single fucking night because I don’t know what to do. I’m paralyzed. I’ve spent my entire adult life protecting myself, putting other people’s needs first, never getting close to anyone, terrified of getting my heart broken. I’ve spent this entire trip trying to keep myself from getting in over my head. And you stand in front of me and tell me that I don’t want you?”

Megan was shaking, with frustration but also fear, the fear that clawed its way up inside her even though she would not let that fear win. “Fuck you, Scarlett. Of course I want you. I’m terrified of how much I want you. I want to kiss you, and be with you, and I’m scared that you’re going to leave again, and I’m scared of how much I...of how much I want to be with you anyway. I’m scared because I love you, too.”

Scarlett sucked in a breath, her face lighting up with desperate hope, and then she closed the distance between them and crushed Megan’s mouth to hers. Scarlett kissed her like she was drowning, and Megan was the only air, and Megan clung to her with the same intensity. She was crying, they were both crying, wrapped around each other and holding tight like each was the other’s lifeline.

Their lips parted, scant inches apart, breathing each other’s air, and Scarlett pressed her forehead against Megan’s. “Wait. Wait.”

Megan gulped air. “I can wait.”

“I want to be with you. Just you.” Scarlett held Megan close with an arm around her back. “Is that what you want?”

“Yes.” Megan nodded, her head bumping Scarlett’s, laughing despite the tears still wet on her cheeks.

“And you’re willing to be honest with me, even when it’s scary?”

Megan nodded again. “Yeah. I can do that.” She swallowed. “And you meant what you said earlier, about not running away again, right? Even from this.”

“Even from this.” Scarlett nodded. “Will you trust me?”

Megan’s heart was too full, the kind of full that didn’t translate well into words. Scarlett had been worried about living up to Megan’s expectations, like she wasn’t already the most wonderful person Megan knew. “I trust you,” Megan said. “And...you’re enough. You’re more than enough.”

Scarlett’s face lit up with a beaming smile of relief, and then she kissed Megan again, clumsy through their smiles. “We’re a mess,” Scarlett said. “We’re such a mess.”

“Yeah.” Megan wiped her tears away. “I think I can stop burning my candle now.”

“That’s it? That’s all the direction and clarity you need?” Scarlett laughed. “Come on. You still said you’re trying to figure out the rest of your life. You should keep burning it.”

“Maybe we can talk that through on the drive back.” Megan imagined the road stretching back out ahead of them, the miles to sing along to more CDs and plan their relationship. “If you can still stand me by the end of it.”

Scarlett pursed her lips. “It’s gonna be hard, but I’ll do my best.”

“Do you want to go back to the wedding?”

Scarlett looked out the window at the night, at the snow falling outside the window. “I think I’d like to stay here with you, if you don’t mind.”

Megan couldn’t help the happiness that bubbled up inside her. “I’d like nothing better.”

Scarlett couldn’t stop smiling as Megan kissed her, leading her back to the bed with every step. She was already pulling at Scarlett’s suit jacket, and Scarlett had to slow her down before they ruined both sets of formal wear. Between kisses and touches, they undressed, careful to toss their clothes onto Scarlett’s bed rather than the floor, and tumbled together onto Megan’s bed, laughing.

“Finally.” Megan pinned Scarlett’s shoulders to the bed, arching up to look down at her. “I’ve been wanting to get you out of that suit all day.”