Page 47 of Just Past Two

Stephan chuckled. “Once. I got halfway up the wall and swore never again. I really am deathly afraid of heights.”

“Aren’t you wearing a harness, though?”

Stephan shook his head. “This fear is not logical. The body wants what it wants, and my body wants to be firmly on the ground.”

Abby studied those dark eyes, the line of his nose, the fullness of his lips. So many fears weren’t logical…and so many were. The body wants what it wants. She could so easily kiss him, right here, in this glassblowing studio, with no one else around to see.

“I’m gonna step outside.” Abby gestured toward the door. “I think I heard my phone.” She was already hopping off the stool and grabbing her coat. She had to distance herself, escape from the heat of his body in this tiny, intimate, sweltering space.

The cold air outside hit her superheated skin like a slap as she stepped outside. With shaking hands, she dialed Sam. The steel door of the studio separated her from Stephan, and around her, snow fell on the gravel walkway. She walked a few feet away, back into the parking lot, out from under the overhang of the building. As the phone rang in her ear, she looked out at the emptiness of the space, their cars the only ones in sight. This studio sat on the outskirts of Mapleton, off a side street, the sounds of traffic too distant to hear.

“Hey, hon. What’s up?” Sam’s voice grounded her, anchoring her in this moment, even though her head was swimming.

“Why did you and Jo tell me to come to this studio tonight?”

A long silence from his end of the phone. “What happened?”

So much happened, and nothing happened. “Nothing. Nothing happened. I took a break to come out here in the parking lot and call you.”

Sam sounded guarded. “I don’t know why you’re calling.”

“Why did you tell me to come see Stephan here alone?”

Another long silence, his soft breathing the only sign that he hadn’t hung up. “Stephan’s a good guy.”

Suddenly dizzy, Abby walked over to her car and leaned against it. After the heat of the studio, the temperature difference overwhelmed her senses. “Did you want something to happen? Did you think I was just going to cheat on you?”

“Of course not.” He sounded impossibly calm, even a bit cautious. “I thought you might call.”

What? He thought she was just going to call him and… “And what? And ask about fooling around with him?” Words started tumbling out. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel. Or what I’m supposed to do. Are you setting me up with him? Does he think I’m coming here to get laid or something?”

“No!” Sam sounded surprised, almost offended. “I thought…”

“Is Jo in on this? Is Stephan?” She didn’t say it like a question, but like a fact.

A long pause. “Jo overheard us at the party. She approached me afterward to see if we might want something more.”

Abby buried her face in her hands, embarrassment bubbling hot inside her. “So Stephan knows?” Is this why he had been touching her, working her over with those bedroom eyes?

“Yes.”

Her stomach dropped. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”

“I didn’t think you’d go. I thought, maybe once you were there in person…” His voice trailed off.

“I’d what? I’d just get overwhelmed? I’d let my hormones take over? I’d turn into some kind of raging slut who doesn’t believe in her marriage anymore?” Her voice had gotten louder, echoing into the empty space around her. She was on the verge of hysteria and tried to tamp down the emotions.

“Abby. Abby, listen.” Sam’s voice was firm and steady in her ear, and if she closed her eyes, she could picture him next to her. “I love you. I know you love me. I know that you would do anything for our relationship. Right?”

“Yes.”

“And I also know that you’re attracted to other men. That you’ve ignored your attraction for years, that you would ignore it forever for the sake of our marriage.”

Her throat was too tight to respond, but he didn’t wait for her confirmation to keep talking. “I don’t want you to ignore it,” he said. “I don’t want you to ignore your feelings for Zach, or for Stephan, or anyone else that you’re attracted to.”

“It’s just…” She waved her arm around, even though they were on the phone and he couldn’t see her. “I feel guilty. I needed to come out here and call you before I did something I would regret.”

Another pause. “What if you didn’t have to regret it?”