Page 96 of A Simple Regret

My life is here.

And maybe someday, that life will include Camden on a more permanent basis. Not that I’m not enjoying our regular dinners and visits, but I’d be a liar if I said I didn’t want more. I do.

I don’t want what we once had.

I want a new future.

By the time dinner is over, I’m about to crawl out of my skin.

“Mom, why don’t you go play in the living room with Theo,” I suggest a bit anxiously. “It’ll be his bath time soon and he loves reading a book or two before bed.”

“Cam!” Theo declares, grabbing onto his hand and trying to drag him to his toys.

“Little dude, don’t you want to play with your grandma? She came all the way here to see you,” Camden says.

“Cam!”

“It’s fine. I’ll just make myself comfortable on the couch and watch,” Mom says, moving to my couch and throwing her feet up on the opposite end. She retrieves her phone and starts messing around, clearly making herself comfortable. Not that she isn’t allowed to do so, but I would have thought she’d be on the floor anyway, playing with her grandson.

I put the leftovers into two containers, since it makes so much, and plan to send one home with my neighbor. Then I place the Crock-Pot tub into the sink and fill it with hot, soapy water to soak. I rinse all the dishes but leave them for tomorrow. While I work, I listen to my son and the man who still owns my heart play. He’s so good with him, I know they’ll never be another man in Theo’s life who is better than Camden.

Finally, when the kitchen is somewhat put back together, I move to the living room, but just as I reach the threshold, Camden is standing. “I’m going to head home and get some work done before bed.”

I want to tell him to stay. “Okay.”

“Thank you for dinner,” he adds, his words a little stiff, as if something’s wrong.

Though he just sat in the living room with my mother for a good half an hour, listening to her drone on and on about who knows what. “You’re welcome.”

“See you later, little dude,” Camden says, holding out his knuckles for a tap.

“Wayter,” Theo replies, tapping his knuckles, making it explode, and then laughing about it.

“I’ll walk you to the door. Theo, when I get back, we’re going to take a bath.”

“No bath!” he announces.

“Yes, bath. You don’t want to be a stinky boy, do you?” He giggles and shakes his head. “That’s what I thought.”

I wait for Cam to grab his coat and boots by the door. “It was nice seeing you again, Hillary.”

“Yes, Cam, nice to see you. A surprise to say the least,” she says with a smile. “My daughter left out that part.”

I feel the weight of her words on my chest and walk quickly to the back door with Camden. “I’m so sorry,” I whisper.

“Don’t be,” he says, slipping his boots on. “It’s fine.”

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” I murmur, leaning in when he stands up.

He wraps his arms around me but doesn’t kiss me the way I want him to. “Sounds good. Enjoy your visit with your mom.”

“Yeah, sure,” I mumble, pressing my lips to his.

“Night.” He pulls away from my kiss and opens the back door. Camden is gone before I know it.

The entire exchange felt cold and distant, and I didn’t like it.

Not one bit.