Page 10 of A Simple Regret

We move to the trailer first, and I spot the two dressers he was talking about. Both are older and well-loved, and you can clearly tell which one belongs in Theo’s room, thanks to the bright blue and red scribbles of crayon along one of the sides. “We can take the drawers out. Might make it easier and lighter.”

I give it a test lift, noting it’s not too bad. However, I don’t want to overwhelm Adam with the weight. “Up to you.”

“Let’s take it out of the trailer, and if it’s heavy, we can pull the drawers out.”

I nod in agreement and bend down, lifting the five-drawer dresser. I go backward, carefully moving out of the trailer and down the small ramp. When we reach the driveway, we both adjust our hands, and Adam says, “I’m good.”

I continue to walk backward, carefully up the steps. Maren opens the screen door widely, making sure there’s enough room for us to pass through. I stomp on the rug, trying to get as much moisture and whatnot off the bottom of my boots before I continue into the house. If she were to ask, I’d even set the dresser down and remove my boots. No, it wouldn’t be convenient to take them off and on each time we enter or exit, but I’d understand if that were her request.

“The floors will clean. You’re fine,” she says, closing the door behind us.

“This one’s going into my little buddy’s room,” Adam says to me, and even though I’ve never been inside this house, it’s the mirror image of my own as far as layout goes, and I can assume Theo would have the smaller of the two bedrooms. So that’s where I head.

As we reach the living room, my attention is drawn to both the TV on the floor and the little boy sitting in a child-sized blue chair. “Papa! Who dis?”

“Hey, buddy. This is your neighbor, Camden. He’s helping me bring some of the furniture into the house.”

“I help too!” he bellows, grabbing onto the side of the dresser and lifting. The sudden shift in weight makes the dresser wobble in our hands, and we both quickly have to make adjustments so we don’t drop the dresser.

When we get inside the bedroom, I wait for direction from either Maren or Adam on where to put it. “Let’s put it down against that wall,” Adam states, nodding to his right.

Once it’s in place, we head out to grab the next one. Theo is right with us, chatting about a blue dog and her sister, Bingo. I’m not sure there’s a shy bone in this little guy’s body. We reach the door where Maren waits, I avoid her gaze. The last thing I need is to get trapped in her web. I fell for those blue, expressive eyes once before, and I won’t do it again.

Outside, we retrieve the second dresser. This one is much heavier than the first, and even though I could make it work, I can tell Adam is struggling a bit. “Why don’t we go ahead and take out the drawers?” I suggest.

He nods, reaching for the bottom one and pulling it out. We work in tandem, stacking the five drawers off to the side and before lifting the empty dresser. I do everything I can to ignore the scent I caught when I pulled out the drawers. It was the same sweet scent she wore back in the day, like vanilla and sugar, mixed with sandalwood.

I also try to ignore the material in the top drawer as I pulled the final drawer out. Her panty drawer. I’m not sure what’s worse, having me do it or her dad. It’s not like there’s racy pieces just lying there in plain view, but still. I spot scraps of satin and lace pushed toward the back, like they may not get used as much as the stuff in the front. Not to mention a few bras neatly stacked in a variety of colors and materials.

It’s like my own personal hell all wrapped up in one drawer.

It makes blood rush to the one place it has no business flowing to.

Finally, we grab the dresser and take it inside. It’s much lighter now that it’s not full, and we easily maneuver it into Maren’s bedroom. I force my eyes to remain glued to the dresser, as if looking around might somehow cause me to spontaneously combust.

It would undoubtedly cause a certain appendage to blow…

“What next, Papa?” Theo asks from the door as we set the dresser down along one of the empty walls.

“Well, we gotta carry in the couch and chair for the living room. A lot of it I can bring in with your mama.”

Theo nods. “And me. I help too.”

“You’ve been a fantastic helper,” Adam agrees, ruffling the young boy’s mop of dark blond hair as we exit the room.

We move in the couch and chair next, and as soon as we have them down Theo plops down on them and laughs. The sound of his giggle makes me smile for what feels like the first time in forever. It’s light and free and so full of excitement. Honestly, he reminds me so much of his mama, back when we were young and carefree ourselves.

Finally, the only thing left is the hope chest. I don’t say a word as I bend down and grab one side, Maren’s dad on the other. “Damn,” I mutter, recollections of this chest and its weight returning with a bang in my mind. It was custom-made by an older gentleman in town who has since passed away, and it’s as heavy duty and beautiful craftsmanship as you’d find anywhere in the world.

And she still has it.

We step inside the house, and I feel her eyes on me. This time, I’m not strong enough to fight the desire to look at her. My blue eyes slam into hers, and as angry as I want to be, as mad as I expect to feel at the way our lives have turned out, when I see the pools of sadness staring back at me, I feel the hard shell protecting my heart crack.

Fuck.

No.

I will not let those blue eyes affect me.