Page 95 of Book Club Confidential

Tessa met Hallie and Kate at Orion’s Steak House and got a high-top table near the bar. The vibrant purple in Hallie’s hair had faded a bit, as had the light in her spirit since the last time they’d been together. Kate wore a cream-colored cardigan over a scarlet tank top with jeans and ankle boots, somehow finding the apex of fashion and comfort, despite her recent trauma. She’d opted for mascara and lip gloss only and pulled her hair into a low bun. She’d skipped the wig and costume, but she, too, looked like a dimmer version of herself.

Tessa braced against the pulsing ache in her chest. Her idea to be the heroines in their own lives was the catalyst for her best friends’ unhappiness, when all she ever wanted for them, for anyone, was joy.

The server delivered menus and took their drink orders moments after they were seated, then hurried away.

Tessa crossed her legs and searched for strength. “So what’s new?” she asked. “It feels as if I’ve barely spoken to you guys in the last few days. What have I missed?”

Hallie drummed her thumbs against the table’s edge. “I’ve been working on something, but it might’ve fallen through.”

Kate turned curious eyes in her direction. “What was it? Maybe we can help.”

“Nah.” Hallie shook her head. “I’ll figure it out.” She rolled her eyes at Kate’s deepening concern. “If I feel myself giving up, I’ll call.”

Tessa glanced from Hallie to Kate. Hallie’s words felt ominous, and Kate’s hopeful expression fell further. “Promise?” Tessa asked.

“Yeah,” Hallie said, eyes fixed on the menu.

“Will you let us know what’s been going on with you one way or another?” Kate asked. “If you succeed, we’ll want to celebrate. If you get stuck, we’ll help.”

Hallie nodded. “Sure. What about you?” She took her time examining Kate from head to toe. “You look like the you who hangs out with us and her chickens.”

“I am,” Kate said. Her shoulders rose, then sagged. “I’m officially no longer the high-polished couture-wearing girl everyone loved. Not even when I go out. That’s who I was for a while,” she clarified. “And it was great, but I’m thirty-six, and my life has changed. I’ve changed. I want to be known and appreciated for who I am now, not who I was while I was still finding my way.”

Tessa offered a small supportive smile. “You deserve exactly that.”

“I do,” she agreed. “I might have to cancel my Netflix subscription, paint my own nails, and harvest my garden for food soon, but I’m willing to do whatever it takes to build a brand that represents me and the things I stand for today.”

The waitress delivered their drinks, took their orders, and left a basket of rolls.

Kate selected a roll and pulled it apart with her fingertips, releasing steam into the air. “I started a Get to Know Me series on Instagram yesterday, and I’m featuring one of my favorite books or series every week through the end of the year. I plan to contrast some of my old pictures with new ones and really push the idea of individual beauty and personal evolution as well. I might even find some good metaphors about a blooming, cultivated garden and our personalities over time.”

“Very crunchy-granola homesteader of you,” Hallie said. “I like it. Those are your people.”

Tessa smiled. She and Hallie were Kate’s people, but they weren’t earthy or the farming type. “Do you guys think we’d be friends if we met today?” she asked. “In Harbor Heights, instead of in some college bar singing along to a Bruno Mars song.”

“Yeah,” Kate said without hesitation. “Because I’m an excellent judge of character, and we all adore reading. I would’ve recognized your sweet spirits the moment we met, and books would’ve eventually brought us together.”

“Books would definitely unite us in any lifetime,” Hallie said.

Tessa’s eyes stung with emotion. “Me too.”

“I think you’re the only person who thinks I’m sweet,” Hallie said, tearing into a warm roll.

Kate dabbed the edge of her linen napkin against the corners of her eyes. “Untrue, and speaking of books,” she said, “I mentioned our book club’s quest for the heroine life in my post today. I plan to restate it every time I mention another book. I started with the Twilight series, obviously.”

“Obviously,” Hallie and Tessa echoed, then smiled.

“I think what we’re doing is brave, and maybe a little stupid, but very cool, and not everyone would do it, but they probably should,” Kate said. “Especially if they’re unsatisfied. I think I’d do it again.”

Kate smiled. “It hasn’t been easy, and I realize I’ve been a pill. Plus, I’m not yet sure how it will end—possibly very poorly.”

They laughed.

“But I would do it again,” Kate said. “I think starting over somewhere I’m happy is better than continuing a career that staunches my growth. Even if it is successful.”

Hallie pursed her lips and nodded.

Kate went on. “I’ve realized that I was never entirely like the image I projected online. That wasn’t me. Not really. I played the role I was born into. Sophisticated Southern wealth. It was all I knew when I got started. I became what my family expected of me, which a lot of people probably do. I embodied the image they crafted. I never questioned any of it. Until college.” She swallowed twice, then sipped from her drink. “My parents wanted me to attend Vanderbilt, but I wanted to go somewhere I wasn’t a legacy student. I wanted to study art or photography, and I wanted to paint. I went looking for myself then, even if I didn’t know until now that was what I was doing.”