Page 46 of Book Club Confidential

“It’s marvelous,” Grant said finally. “I was wondering what the hero in my life’s story would do. It’s an incredible question, isn’t it?”

“How do you mean?”

“Well, it begs the question, Are we living our best lives? Or have we fallen into the rhythm of basic existence.”

Tessa’s hand leaped to his bicep. “Yes, exactly that!”

He nodded. “It’s so easy to get into a pattern that leads you through the days without really experiencing anything worth getting up for in the morning. Right? Shower. Eat. Work. Eat. Gym. Eat. Bed.”

Warmth spread from her core to her extremities, and she longed to hug him for understanding. “We were all there. In that rut of predictability, dissatisfied but unwilling to face the discomfort of change.”

“And now?” he asked, dropping his gaze to her lips, then to the place where her hand rested on his arm.

Tessa released him, hating the telltale rush of heat to her cheeks. Then she told him all about the colossal mess she and her friends were making in their pursuit of happiness.

“Extraordinary,” he said. “It makes me want to start another book club. Everyone should do this.”

Tessa sighed. Sadly, the act of changing one’s life was not for the faint of heart.

“I thought it would be easier,” she admitted. “Maybe that it would go more smoothly. I don’t know, but something other than how it’s actually going—which is rough.”

“Makes sense. Change is hard,” he said. “For you, but also for the people around you.”

They moved forward again, more slowly now.

“In my experience,” he began, “most people won’t even notice the changes you make, because your life is irrelevant to them. Some will notice long enough to comment—nice haircut, or whatever—then never mention it again. The ones who scream loudest are usually those who don’t understand why you’re doing things differently, and it impacts them. Sometimes it’s because they love you and want to be sure the change is making you happy. Other times it’s because the change you make inconveniences them, and they want you to change back.” He seemed to weigh what he would say next. “My oldest sister went back to college at twenty-six. She married her high school sweetheart after getting pregnant and dropping out of UVA at twenty-one.”

Tessa felt her eyes widen. “Twenty-one. Wow.” She couldn’t imagine herself as a wife and mom at that age. At twenty-one, she’d barely lived.

“Yeah,” he said. “The decision confused everyone, because she was already working full-time, caring for the house, her husband, and my four-year-old niece. She finally confessed that she needed to get a better job so she could leave her husband and raise Hanna on her own. After that, we nearly drowned her in support. Meanwhile, her now ex-husband berated her for going back to school, because it took time away from him, cost money he didn’t want to spend, and put more of the housework and childcare on his shoulders.”

“No wonder she wanted to leave him,” Tessa muttered.

“The two parties asking the most questions were the ones it mattered to most.”

His words resonated. She felt the same way about most people who made changes. Curious and supportive. Not unhappy or defensive as Peyton or even Xavier had been. They’d only shown interest in the changes that had directly affected them. Like wondering why she didn’t bring coffee to the weekly meeting, or why she wasn’t working overtime anymore.

Then her thoughts shifted uncomfortably to her brother and his alleged changes. Yes, she’d been hurt in the past by his behavior, but wasn’t every attempt at change admirable? And couldn’t all those attempts eventually carve a foundation he could stand on? Shouldn’t she be his biggest advocate and source of support? Not one more voice of negativity in a world of people who didn’t know and love him?

“How’s your sister doing now?” she asked, hoping she’d gotten her happy ending.

A prideful smile swept over Grant’s face. “She became a CPA last year. Now she and Hanna live about ten minutes from our folks, and we all helped her move. What she did wasn’t easy. But it was worth it.”

She nodded. “Some of the people who aren’t on my side don’t like the changes I’m making,” she said.

Grant tented his brows. “I’m sorry you’re going through that.”

He stopped walking when they reached the cobblestone bridge and turned to lean a hip against the railing. Then he stared meaningfully into her eyes. “In most cases, one person’s change almost always impacts others. I guess you’ll find out who’s on your side pretty quickly now.”

Around them, the streetlamps flickered on, bathing them in a cone of light. On the beautiful, historic bridge, above the racing water, beneath the twilit sky, he looked at her as if she was the heroine in a romance novel. In reality, unfortunately, she was a woman fighting to reclaim herself in the midst of a messy reality she’d accidentally designed.

A group of kids in antennae headbands and butterfly T-shirts ran by in a cloud of giggles, breaking the spell. A set of moms pushing strollers and toting large paper butterfly wings hurried along in the children’s wake.

Tessa shoved away from the stone handrail and moved slowly toward the lot where she’d left her car.

He easily matched her pace, and they stopped outside the empty storefront where they’d met earlier. “Thanks again for dinner,” she said.

“Anytime.”