Page 68 of The Hocus Pocus Handbook

Ginger, skullcap, and hops

A copper pot

Dank, smelly water

This spell will infuriate those you cast it on, so be ready for that. Put the herbs in your pot, and burn them to bits with your magic. Once you have the char, simply add the foulest water you can find. The worse it smells, the angrier they will be, mind. And that’s not only the magic. What a working! The fastest way to start a fight indeed. Now, then, you’ve got your terrible mixture, so take the iolite in your off hand and hold it close to your heart. Now you can wield the pot in the other hand, for yes, ’tis a weapon of great power.

Now sling the concoction on those you want to quarrel with! If you can bear to do it, it’s even more effective if you dash it in their faces. And let the shouting start! You might want to run now, my gem. Because furious fae tend to chase. Sometimes they also attack amid the screaming as well, but once the anger’s purged, it’ll be possible to come to accord once more. You’ll know if you need to do this, judging each situation on its own terms. This is an extreme measure, and people seldom forget that you used this charm, even if they forgive you.

Thea

I don’t know where to start with any of this.

To say I’m stunned would be an understatement. Alternating waves of fury and humiliation wash over me, until I can’t speak while I adapt to my new reality. I’ve been traveling with my so-called spouse for a while, and based on their behavior, they’re most definitely an asshole. I understand why they deceived Kerboros—he’s directly related to the Winter Court—but it was pretty clear I had been pressured into making this deal. Yet Zeph chose to continue deceiving me as well.

I find that difficult to understand. Everyone seems unwilling to speak in light of this new development, and I know exactly what to do. I’ve wanted to use this spell for ages, and if ever a group needed to get their crap out in the open, it’s this one. Silently, I dig into my bag for the hocus pocus handbook Da wrote for me and race through the steps. I take pure, unfiltered delight in gathering the disgusting gray water all around us. The others watch me, each of them seeming puzzled.

You’ll find out very soon.

Once I have the warm, stinky brew, I dash around splashing it in everyone’s faces, laughing like a backward banshee. The way they jerk and hiss, I can tell the magic’s taking hold. Since pixies have a loose hold on their tempers at the best of times, which this isn’t, Rosa is the first to boil over. But instead of screeching at me, to my utter astonishment, she whirls and takes aim at Zeph.

“You are”—she fires an arrow—“such”—fires arrow—“an irredeemable asshole! In the endless time I’ve known you, have you ever asked how you can help me? Made anything up to me like you’re constantly saying you will? No! It’s all empty smiles and pretty words with you, Devan J. Fenelon, and I’m sick to death of defending you to people who rightfully think you’re a selfish stinkweed!”

Zeph dodges and bristles. “You follow me like a pet, Rosa! Am I not supposed to treat you like one? Maybe if you respected yourself more, I would too!”

“I hate you,” the pixie shrieks. “Hate you for a million years plus ten!”

“And I have more important things to worry about,” Zeph snaps back.

Tara wades in, going at Zeph verbally without missing a beat. “People are important. But you don’t care about them, do you? Only Important Matters. If this is how you treat a loyal friend like Rosa, I’m glad we’re enemies.”

“I just met all of you, and I already wish I were back in my tree,” Govannon exclaims.

Everyone quiets at the sound of Kerboros unsheathing his weapon. “You must answer for this treachery,” he growls.

Oh crap. I didn’t mean for things to escalate this much.

Zeph lets out a mocking laugh. “Don’t pretend you’re challenging me to a duel. You can’t fight unless your cousin orders you to do so. Everyone knows—that’s the worst-kept secret in Winter.”

Kerboros smiles grimly in response. “The best-kept secret in Winter is that I broke that tether long ago. I maintain my own secrets, traitor. Defend yourself.”

“Yet you continued to serve? Spineless.” A dagger appears in Zeph’s hand.

They circle, eyeing each other’s stances. If I had to guess, I’d say they’re searching for a weakness. Kerboros has reach on Zeph, but Zeph…I don’t know what they’re capable of. Right now, I feel like I don’t know them at all.

“Stop this!” Tara has a knife at Zeph’s back. That’s my best friend, and nobody saw her coming. She seems harmless, until she isn’t.

Rosa has her bow trained on Kerboros. “Stand down. If anyone’s killing them, it’ll be me. Get in line.”

“Your poison won’t end me,” Kerboros says.

“Maybe not. But it’ll make you wish you were dead.”

Kerboros and Zeph lock eyes. Then, coming to some silent consensus, they lower their weapons at the same moment. In response, Rosa slackens her hand on her bow, and Tara lets Zeph back up a step. I observe, unable to believe how well that spell worked. The air feels lighter now. My dad was right. Sometimes truths need to be spoken.

“Apologize,” Kerboros demands.

Zeph affects a bored aspect. “For what? I already apologized to Tara for hurting her feelings. Isn’t that enough?”