Page 59 of I Think I’m in Love with an Alien

“I feel like we should hug,” Poppy says. “But feel free to decline.”

I smile as we step into a three-way consolation prize of a hug with Tad at the center, an arm around each of us. When we step back, we’re all smiling.

“This is the happiest I’ve ever felt about losing,” I say.

Poppy pats me on the shoulder. “Thanks for inviting us. I would never have come to something like this on my own.”

I’m about to admit something that makes me look pathetic, but I want them to know how much their friendship means to me. “Remember when I said that nobody from RL could come with me?”

Tad nods and Poppy shoots me a curious look. “Yeah. What about it?”

“Truthfully, there’s nobody to ask. I’ve always struggled to make friends. I had two really close ones…” Even now, it’s tough for me to talk about Nina and Andrew, but I want to be honest with Poppy and Tad.

I want real friends again. And that means opening up to them.

Poppy takes a seat at the back of the tent. They’re switching the setup, but the next event isn’t for twenty minutes. The volunteers are too busy to bother us. Tad perches on a chair nearby, and they’re both regarding me with expectant expressions.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks gently.

“Yeah. I do. Nina used to be my best friend. We met in grade school. Then Andrew moved in next door to me, and I asked him to sit with us on his first day of junior high.”

“That’s so nice of you,” Poppy says. “We moved around a lot, and I remember how awkward it was, being the new kid.”

I smile at the memory. “He was so funny. Stand-up comedian material. Both Drew and Nina were drama kids. So I joined to hang out with them. Did props and stage management.”

“I was a drama kid too,” Poppy declares.

“Not me. AV club all the way,” Tad puts in.

I can tell they’re sharing to make this easier for me. “Drew and Nina had crushes on each other for years. And I was in the middle, listening to their gooey secrets. They’d waffle, going back and forth. ‘What if we ruin our friendship?’”

“Did they or didn’t they?” Poppy asks.

“They did. Finally. Right before graduation. And they were an amazing couple.” I don’t mention how much of a third wheel I felt after that.

“Were?” Of course Tad picked up on that.

It’s a four-letter word, practically a curse. “Yeah. Freshman year of college, we lost Andrew to a drunk driver, and Nina stopped replying to my texts.”

It wasn’t my fault; I wasn’t even there. We all went to different schools, and she needed a clean break, I guess. I remind her too much of what she lost.

But I lost him too. And her as well—by choice.

“Oh my God,” Poppy breathes. “Jen, I’m so sorry.”

“Me too.”

And I never recovered. I had roommates in college, not friends. They were polite, nothing more. Once we graduated, they weren’t interested in keeping in touch. Nobody is, it seems like. Nothing about me ever makes people want to stay. Not even Nina, the person who braided my hair, listened to my secrets, and made me a friendship bracelet that said 4-ever on it.

“Well, that’s bullshit,” Tad says. He actually looks pissed, and Tad is such a chill guy. “It sounds like she blames you or something.”

Poppy moves closer, her hand hovering on the verge of a comforting pat. “Some people turtle when they’re hurting. She might regret it. I bet she misses you. Possibly it’s been so long now that she doesn’t know what to say or how to say it.”

It’s more likely that I’ve been written off, but I appreciate Poppy trying to find some brightness in my depressing history. “Thank you for listening. The only reason I told you is so you understand how much your friendship means to me.”

“Aw.” She tips her head back, blinking rapidly as she takes a deep breath. “So help me, if you make me ruin my makeup… Anyway, back at you. I’m so glad we met.”

Tad clears his throat. “Me too. We already hugged, though. And I think we should move along before the next event starts.”