Page 91 of A Time of Witches

As soon as her fingers grasped the crystal, a pleasant warmth infused her heart. She curled the stone into the cradle of her palm and recalled the enchantment from the grimoire.

Pink quartz to accept your soul.

The fragrance of the honeysuckle intensified, so rich, its honeyed perfume was sweet on her tongue.

Blossoms of a fragrant flower to sweeten your life.

She hesitated. Creating a charm to love herself felt so small.

But, as the grimoire had said, uncertainty would not find the path, and she needed to know where she was going. If she couldn’t love herself, how could she save Sybil?

“Here goes nothing,” she said under her breath.

She approached a honeysuckle bush, gently extracting several blooms. They came away easily, surrendering to her the way she had to the earth.

If this was the first gift meant to be bestowed upon her, she would accept.

Cradling the blossoms and the rose quartz in her hands, she closed her eyes and opened her senses. She relished the distant buzz of insects, the caress of a gentle breeze against her skin, the rich soil beneath the floral notes of honeysuckle.

Let me love myself.

Memories came at her in a whirling assault.

The way other children had thrown away her binders in school, how they refused to sit by her in class, calling her a freak. But also the way Essie had always stood up for her.

How Mama’s face contorted in disgust when she told Lilith she would never amount to anything.

A college dropout.

A worthless daughter.

Tears stung behind Lilith’s closed lids.

“Let me love myself,” she pleaded, her voice thickening.

Because there was also Daddy who had been there to pick her up when she fell, how he’d blow on a scrape after a swipe of rubbing alcohol. How he’d beamed with pride at her, eyes filled with love.

Then there was the now. Lilith’s reeling life without purpose, aimless, useless.

A job that easily moved on without her.

The nudge of a warm, furry body against Lilith’s shin and a delicate purr that sent vibrations limned in gold through her mind.

In every situation in her life, she hadn’t cared for herself. She had let others hurt her. And yet, there had always been someone there to love her.

She had to see herself the way they did.

Drawing in a shuddering breath, she poured the whole of her wounded heart into her words. “Let me love myself.”

Her chest lifted in a deep inhale, free of the constraint of her own self-doubt, liberated from castigation. And the lie of her insignificance cracked open.

She was kind. And strong. And worthy.

Exactly as Daddy saw her, and Essie, and even little Dragon.

She blinked her eyes open. A milky glow shimmered over her skin, a sheen of power enveloping her. A gift she was worthy of.

She was beautiful.