Page 110 of The Librarian Spy

“I’ll keep that in mind.” She embraced Alfie and Theo before taking her departure, refusing to think of James as she did so.

Back at the office, she didn’t last long before the heavy meal in her stomach left her eyelids feeling leaden. She pushed up from her seat and made her way to the back room where a pot of restorative coffee was always at the ready.

Her heels clicked over the glossy floor as she turned the corner and stopped short. Mr. Sims stood near the coffeepot, his large hand braced on the vanilla speckled Formica countertop, his head bowed.

This was clearly a moment of a man needing his privacy and yet Ava could not bring herself to leave.

“Mr. Sims,” she said softly.

He straightened and cleared his throat, opening his mouth to speak before closing it again only to shake his head. His gaze slid away. And then his chin trembled.

Ava said nothing but strode over to him and opened her arms. He sagged against her, his breath warm where he sniffled against her shoulder and the bulk of his large body trembled with the power of his grief. He stayed there for a long moment, clinging to her the way Noah did when he would wake from a nap after a nightmare.

There was something so humbling about witnessing such a proud man forced to bend under the weight of loss. She knew the burden well and wouldn’t wish it upon anyone.

“I’m so sorry,” she said gently.

“He always wanted to make me proud,” Mr. Sims said raggedly.

“You’ve never been anything less,” Ava offered in reassurance. “He knew that.”

The older man straightened, his eyes bloodshot and his nose red. He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and gave her a grateful nod. “Don’t you have a desk to finish cleaning out, Harper?” His question lacked its usual sharpness. “You know you won’t get paid extra.”

“Yes, sir, I do.” She turned, leaving him to recover in peace.

It didn’t take long to sift through one final stack of papers. When she was done, she handed the box to be destroyed to Peggy.

“I’ll be joining you in DC sooner than later,” the secretary said. “I expect you to show me around all the good dance halls and jazz clubs.”

Ava chuckled. “I’m not sure how adept I’ll be at that, but I can give you a personal tour of the Library of Congress.”

“I’ll take it.” Peggy beamed and gave her one final hug. “Have a safe flight.”

Once upon a time, Ava would have shuddered at the mention of flying. Though she still didn’t relish the idea, it didn’t terrify her anymore. In the last year and a half, she had been trailed by the PVDE, stalked by a Nazi, and duped by a spy. Daniel had jumped out of planes on a beach in Normandy and fought for his life. Even more powerful was what she had witnessed of others in her time in Portugal.

She had seen people subjected to endless waits for visas they were never granted, suffer from delayed ships that started the abysmal process over again, and even people who were cheated out of their life savings in a desperate bid to book passage from Lisbon. Only the extremely wealthy could afford seats on the plane she would be boarding the next morning. The letters she had salvaged spoke of the Nazis’ unimaginable brutality, as had the stories she’d heard. Yet so many had endured, resilient and brave as they left their lives behind to save their families. And, as she so often did, she thought of Otto whose barred entry from her homeland had been so great, he could not bring himself to continue on even one more day.

Plato said courage was knowing what not to fear. In looking back on her time in Lisbon, Ava realized now that wisdom was also knowing what to fear. In the face of what so many others had endured, flying was such a pale, petty thing.

The morning of her flight came upon her quickly. She was ready with her small apartment neatly packed into two suitcases and the copy of Little Women carefully tucked among her folded dresses.

She pushed out the door of her building and nearly ran headlong into a man. With a gasp she drew herself upright, having come face-to-face with James for the first time since his confession.

“Ava.” His blue-green eyes locked on hers, and her heart squeezed with more feeling than she wished.

His lean frame had filled out in the months since they’d seen one another. Beneath a gray fedora, his hair was freshly trimmed, and his skin glowed with good health. He put his hand out to stop her from leaving. “Please let me speak.”

Once before she’d told him to go away and had spent the time since regretting the decision. She would not make the same mistake again.

“Have you been waiting out here for me?” she asked in surprise.

He gave a sheepish smile. “I couldn’t miss a final opportunity to talk.”

No matter had fully she thought she quashed all sense of hope, it now flared to life, foolish and eager, revived by his mere presence. For all she knew, he was there to apologize one last time.

She tensed, bracing herself for what he intended to say.

“I have something for you.” He reached into his pocket, the contents of which gave a slight rattle.