Page 74 of How to Wed a Courtesan

His throat tightened. ‘It’s perfect.’

Once more he made his way back to Lottie’s townhouse, noting how, upon his arrival, the butler regarded the daffodils with apparent disdain.

She was waiting for him in the drawing room when he arrived, wearing a simple blue day dress with her hair in a quick knot.

The ring box sat on the table and his heart went to it.

He kept the flowers hidden behind his back as the double doors were closed behind him.

‘I have my decision.’

She drew in a quick breath, and in that span of time Evander rushed to speak, saying, ‘Before you give me your answer...’

At that same moment, she continued, ‘I will be your mistress.’

From outside the door someone gave a choke, followed by a feigned cough.

Evander paid them no mind. Instead he stared in horror at Lottie, the woman he had spent six years wanting to have as his wife. ‘What did you say?’

‘I’ll be your mistress.’ Her gaze slid to the ring box. ‘But I cannot marry you.’

‘Lottie...’

‘Let me say my piece.’ She looked down at her hands and twisted them against one another. ‘I love you. I’ll never deny it again. But it is my love for you that makes me unable to be your wife.’

Evander shook his head vehemently. ‘No. I won’t have you that way.’

She pulled in a shuddering breath. ‘Then you can have me in no way at all. I will not ruin your family. I will not ruin your name.’

‘No,’ he said again.

‘What will you do when you hear of a man who has been my protector? What will you do when your mother is no longer welcome around her friends because of her association with me?’ Her cheeks had gone red as she spoke. ‘I will not trap you in marriage.’

‘No,’ he said a final time. ‘Please, Lottie.’ It was his turn to speak. ‘I didn’t simply come here to receive your answer. I have more I wish to say.’ He held out the flowers, first the daffodils and carnations.

The tension on her face melted. ‘These are like the first bouquet you ever brought me.’

‘With one special exception.’ He withdrew the small lily from behind his back and presented it to her.

She regarded the tiny flower with reverence, and the emotion on her face told him he understood its significance exactly. ‘Oh, Evander, this is my favourite of all the bouquets you’ve given me.’

He breathed a sigh of relief, glad she enjoyed them. ‘But that isn’t all. I botched it yesterday. I have more to say.’

Lottie nodded and started to twist her fingers again. It was the perfect opening.

‘You say you aren’t the same women you were six years ago,’ he said.

Lottie’s brow furrowed, but he wasn’t going to allow himself to be distracted this time and continued.

‘I disagree.’ He held up a hand to stop any argument. ‘In some ways.’

He indicated her twisting fingers. ‘You’ve done that for as long as I’ve known you. Whenever you’re anxious or nervous.’

She stopped the action immediately.

He chuckled. ‘You were considerate and kind when I knew you, and you still are now. It’s why you’re so adept at helping the young women you instruct. It isn’t seduction you teach them, but confidence and self-worth.’ He stepped closer. ‘The Lottie I knew put others before herself, which is what you are doing now by trying to turn me away. Although I won’t let you.’

She opened her mouth to speak, but he shook his head.